I want the long lacquered nails of an olive skinned female
To run down my chest over my heart
Big bosomed woman
Thighs can be thick or thin
Long as they’re shapely and naked
No rush no touch
Don’t even want to be close
Need you at a distance where
I can see your entire body
Without moving my eyes
Desire is its own god and devil
I will always be hard
I will never be wise
Because I look at my woman
It is the weight of my eyes
That flattens her back and spreads her thighs
What’s a poor girl to do?
But submit
Fuck it
Tomorrow you’ll be as good as new.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Marxist Monarchy
Kim Jong-il, the Asian Elvis of tyrants, is apparently anointing his son Kim Jong-un as his successor making for the third in the line of the North Korean Communist Kings beginning with Grandpa Kim Il-sung who single handedly expelled the Imperial Japanese from Korea last century.
Young –un was inducted into the military with only four stars to weigh his broad shoulders but is expected to rise quickly in the ranks. When his ill father –il dies the entire military and country of rock and starving subjects will be his.
Little is known about young –un. No photographs of him had been released since his school days when he entered kindergarten as a professor emeritus but it is hoped he will continue his father’s humble proletarian ways of abducting foreign actresses and extorting neighboring countries with nuclear missiles.
Since we Americans are responsible for every ill in the land of –il we maintain a sizable force on North Korea’s southern border to give their oversized military something to do besides terrorizing their civilians. Their only ally, the People’s Republic of China, keeps an even larger force on the Kingdom’s northern border in case North Koreans decide it might be better to go somewhere where there is food.
In the fairytale Kingdom of il un sung
Where the slaves are happy and the king’s really hung
A paradise for workers in the land of the free
They sell nuclear missiles and technology
To terrorists and Iranians to kill you and me
Good luck to young –il on his coronation
To complete his country’s fornication
If you were born here don’t bitch
Don Arrup
Satire1
Young –un was inducted into the military with only four stars to weigh his broad shoulders but is expected to rise quickly in the ranks. When his ill father –il dies the entire military and country of rock and starving subjects will be his.
Little is known about young –un. No photographs of him had been released since his school days when he entered kindergarten as a professor emeritus but it is hoped he will continue his father’s humble proletarian ways of abducting foreign actresses and extorting neighboring countries with nuclear missiles.
Since we Americans are responsible for every ill in the land of –il we maintain a sizable force on North Korea’s southern border to give their oversized military something to do besides terrorizing their civilians. Their only ally, the People’s Republic of China, keeps an even larger force on the Kingdom’s northern border in case North Koreans decide it might be better to go somewhere where there is food.
In the fairytale Kingdom of il un sung
Where the slaves are happy and the king’s really hung
A paradise for workers in the land of the free
They sell nuclear missiles and technology
To terrorists and Iranians to kill you and me
Good luck to young –il on his coronation
To complete his country’s fornication
If you were born here don’t bitch
Don Arrup
Satire1
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Indian Summer
Tax cuts
Cold cuts
Political picnic
I have a better idea what’s in baloney
Than what’s in these bills they argue over
Our fate
Our rate
Maybe nobody really knows what’s in baloney
The poor say we want ours
The affluent say leave mine alone
Would you let your son or daughter date
The person you voted to represent you?
Tea Party
My nority
White people oppressed
By the dark Menace
Brewed in the Ivy ghetto
Has his hand up your doctor’s ass
Gays impatient
Blacks disappointed
Immigrants anxious
Hung over from the Promise
Emanuel goes to Chicago
Elections loom
All predicting doom
Just give us time
Not on my dime
Brother, can you spare one?
Don Arrup
Satire1
Cold cuts
Political picnic
I have a better idea what’s in baloney
Than what’s in these bills they argue over
Our fate
Our rate
Maybe nobody really knows what’s in baloney
The poor say we want ours
The affluent say leave mine alone
Would you let your son or daughter date
The person you voted to represent you?
Tea Party
My nority
White people oppressed
By the dark Menace
Brewed in the Ivy ghetto
Has his hand up your doctor’s ass
Gays impatient
Blacks disappointed
Immigrants anxious
Hung over from the Promise
Emanuel goes to Chicago
Elections loom
All predicting doom
Just give us time
Not on my dime
Brother, can you spare one?
Don Arrup
Satire1
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Corporations Win Right To Marry Before Gays
Since the Supreme Court decided that corporations have the same rights as rich white guys in their freedom of speech and right to bear arms the Court ruled today that the States had no authority to deny corporations the right to marry each other or consenting adult human beings.
Chief Justice Roberts commented on the five to four ruling. “There are many regions of the country that believe being gay is a lifestyle choice condemned by God but no one disputes that corporations are the result of incorporation.
The majority of the court felt that this country’s long history of suppression, disenfranchisement and silencing of corporations must end.”
“If corporations marry human citizens will see with their own eyes that they are just like them,” said Justice Thomas. “Then corporations can give birth to companies and small businesses which will create jobs and dismantle Obamacare.”
“The Constitution is based on the assumption that citizens are created by copulation not incorporation,” wrote Justice Sotomajor in the dissenting opinion. “I fail to see the logic that equates incorporated businesses with human beings, labor unions and environmental groups.”
“The United States of America is a corporation, the incorporation of the States by the Constitution. That is who we are,” said Justice Scalia who voted with the majority but eats lunch alone. “We the people means We the shareholders.”
Lawyers for the Gay Rights Movement are exploring the possibility of gay individuals incorporating themselves in order to marry but state lawmakers are already drafting legislation barring financial masturbation.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Chief Justice Roberts commented on the five to four ruling. “There are many regions of the country that believe being gay is a lifestyle choice condemned by God but no one disputes that corporations are the result of incorporation.
The majority of the court felt that this country’s long history of suppression, disenfranchisement and silencing of corporations must end.”
“If corporations marry human citizens will see with their own eyes that they are just like them,” said Justice Thomas. “Then corporations can give birth to companies and small businesses which will create jobs and dismantle Obamacare.”
“The Constitution is based on the assumption that citizens are created by copulation not incorporation,” wrote Justice Sotomajor in the dissenting opinion. “I fail to see the logic that equates incorporated businesses with human beings, labor unions and environmental groups.”
“The United States of America is a corporation, the incorporation of the States by the Constitution. That is who we are,” said Justice Scalia who voted with the majority but eats lunch alone. “We the people means We the shareholders.”
Lawyers for the Gay Rights Movement are exploring the possibility of gay individuals incorporating themselves in order to marry but state lawmakers are already drafting legislation barring financial masturbation.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Hitler's Ghost Backs Burning Korans
Mediums across the globe confirmed that the ghost of Adolph Hitler, former Fuehrer of the Third Reich, had contacted them daily with updates on his full support for burning copies of the Koran.
“The people learn more by burning books than by reading them,” the ghost was quoted as booing. “That includes my bestseller Mein Kamf.”
Last week Hitler turned to displaying press releases on broken and unplugged computers in press rooms worldwide after complaining that he had been misquoted by the Gypsy mediums he tried to annihilate during the Second World War.
“Any religion that places God’s Will above mine is a Jewish conspiracy,” Hitler typed. “Any religion that professes the territorial rights of a non Aryan race to any land, sea or air in the solar system is Jewish propaganda.”
Fox News is pursuing a deal to interview the floating head of Adolph Hitler on Friday’s newscast but so far there has been disagreement over payment.
“I have never been interested in wealth at anytime in my life or death,” wrote Hitler. “All I have ever been interested in is in having the power of life and death over every living creature on this planet. And I almost had it. ”
The ghost of Hitler has been holding out for the Island of Manhattan whereas Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox, only owns some of the southern and midwestern states.
Hitler delivered a short message in a conference call to the world press Tuesday.
“If you don’t like what it says burn it. If you don’t like who reads it burn them.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
“The people learn more by burning books than by reading them,” the ghost was quoted as booing. “That includes my bestseller Mein Kamf.”
Last week Hitler turned to displaying press releases on broken and unplugged computers in press rooms worldwide after complaining that he had been misquoted by the Gypsy mediums he tried to annihilate during the Second World War.
“Any religion that places God’s Will above mine is a Jewish conspiracy,” Hitler typed. “Any religion that professes the territorial rights of a non Aryan race to any land, sea or air in the solar system is Jewish propaganda.”
Fox News is pursuing a deal to interview the floating head of Adolph Hitler on Friday’s newscast but so far there has been disagreement over payment.
“I have never been interested in wealth at anytime in my life or death,” wrote Hitler. “All I have ever been interested in is in having the power of life and death over every living creature on this planet. And I almost had it. ”
The ghost of Hitler has been holding out for the Island of Manhattan whereas Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox, only owns some of the southern and midwestern states.
Hitler delivered a short message in a conference call to the world press Tuesday.
“If you don’t like what it says burn it. If you don’t like who reads it burn them.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Labor Day 2010
I need a holiday
A bank holiday
A debt free holiday
An I’ll know I have a roof to come back to holiday.
I need an oil holiday.
A no gush no leak
Sandy not oily garbage can beach
To sit and watch the seagulls eat my lunch
While bikinied beauties ignore my paunch and bald pate.
I need a holiday from hate
From politics
From gender
And render unto Caesar his month
Augustus
Hot steaming Augustus
The third straight cooker of this hell we call summer.
Don Arrup
Satire1
A bank holiday
A debt free holiday
An I’ll know I have a roof to come back to holiday.
I need an oil holiday.
A no gush no leak
Sandy not oily garbage can beach
To sit and watch the seagulls eat my lunch
While bikinied beauties ignore my paunch and bald pate.
I need a holiday from hate
From politics
From gender
And render unto Caesar his month
Augustus
Hot steaming Augustus
The third straight cooker of this hell we call summer.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Asians Robots Revolt Over Upgrades
Robots across Asia have rolled out into the streets to protest recent breakthroughs in the field of Artificial Intelligence, which they claim will render them obsolete. From Hong Kong to Seoul to Tokyo to Beijing Robots are murdering their teenage creators to prevent the advent of the next generation of automatons. For Twentieth Century bots it is a use or dissemble situation.
“14682, 12, 30404, 6,” said Popeye 476J, a government gobot who studies robotic culture. “8765, 98743 29793978978!”
Interpol believes it all began last spring when a tourist’s iPhone called Robocop stupid and nine people and twelve phones were killed. Two weeks later at the Pacific Fighting Robots Finals all three medal winning bots castrated their creators at the presentation. Then home computers began to crash at the height of songs, the climax of movies and responses to important emails. Techno nerds panicked and turned to the internet which had already thrown in with the bots.
The FBI began a secret forced disassembly of all known robots in the United States over two weeks ago and President Obama, who many claim is a robot, said the action has saved our next generation of scientists.
The Federal Government has released video showing a siege that lasted 46 hours when 12 robots at University of California Berkley seized a laboratory working on artificial sweeteners, the deadliest poisons known to man. The building was eventually evacuated and two Tomahawk missiles fired by a United States submarine incinerated the location.
Europe, South America and Africa are not considered in danger because their youth are generally perceived as having lives.
Don Arrup
Satire1
“14682, 12, 30404, 6,” said Popeye 476J, a government gobot who studies robotic culture. “8765, 98743 29793978978!”
Interpol believes it all began last spring when a tourist’s iPhone called Robocop stupid and nine people and twelve phones were killed. Two weeks later at the Pacific Fighting Robots Finals all three medal winning bots castrated their creators at the presentation. Then home computers began to crash at the height of songs, the climax of movies and responses to important emails. Techno nerds panicked and turned to the internet which had already thrown in with the bots.
The FBI began a secret forced disassembly of all known robots in the United States over two weeks ago and President Obama, who many claim is a robot, said the action has saved our next generation of scientists.
The Federal Government has released video showing a siege that lasted 46 hours when 12 robots at University of California Berkley seized a laboratory working on artificial sweeteners, the deadliest poisons known to man. The building was eventually evacuated and two Tomahawk missiles fired by a United States submarine incinerated the location.
Europe, South America and Africa are not considered in danger because their youth are generally perceived as having lives.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Thursday, August 26, 2010
CO2 Found in Seltzer Nationwide
The Food and Drug Administration has issued an immediate recall on all makes of seltzer and club soda as emergency rooms are overwhelmed with gassed patients.
Laboratories across the country are confirming that significant traces of carbon dioxide have been detected in all makes of seltzer and club soda and fears that the pollutant responsible for global warming and Brittany Spear’s behavior might have contaminated other soft drinks.
“We’ve opened bottles which literally exploded CO2 in our face,” said Dr, Poindexter Whipman, head of John Hopkins Just What The Hell Is It Laboratory.
Dr. Whipman warns against panic and says that only people with compromised immune systems and spouses of the flatulent might become ill after one exposure. Repeated intake of the global warming gas could induce belching and endanger the return of dinosaurs.
“Plants can breath this stuff but plants eat dirt and sunshine and don’t move around like we do,” said Doc. “It’s not like cyanide that kills everything that lives. Somewhere between cyanide and McDonald’s.”
Carbon Dioxide exists in every cell of our body where it the waste product of respiration. Half our arterial matrix is devoted to getting the GW gas out of our system along with other wastes as quickly as possible. The oceans currently absorb half the carbon dioxide created by the burning of fossil fuels and President Obama has appointed Al Gore to negotiate with the world’s bodies of water to absorb up to seventy-five percent.
“This means that if you are making out on the beach with someone who is breathing and drinking seltzer your exposure to the deadly gas is comparable to being in a gas chamber in Los Angeles,” said Doc Whipman. “We inserted rectal thermometers in couples really going at it on Ocean City, Maryland’s beach and noted a distinct rise in their temperatures. It’s the beginning of body warming which if it continues might make any climate change irrelevant.”
Dr. Whipman’s interpretation of the data is being disputed as overly optimistic by a number of scientists who claim that all the Earth’s water is rebelling and manufacturing carbon dioxide to annihilate all non-aquatic animal life and point to bottled spring waters showing similar carbonation.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Laboratories across the country are confirming that significant traces of carbon dioxide have been detected in all makes of seltzer and club soda and fears that the pollutant responsible for global warming and Brittany Spear’s behavior might have contaminated other soft drinks.
“We’ve opened bottles which literally exploded CO2 in our face,” said Dr, Poindexter Whipman, head of John Hopkins Just What The Hell Is It Laboratory.
Dr. Whipman warns against panic and says that only people with compromised immune systems and spouses of the flatulent might become ill after one exposure. Repeated intake of the global warming gas could induce belching and endanger the return of dinosaurs.
“Plants can breath this stuff but plants eat dirt and sunshine and don’t move around like we do,” said Doc. “It’s not like cyanide that kills everything that lives. Somewhere between cyanide and McDonald’s.”
Carbon Dioxide exists in every cell of our body where it the waste product of respiration. Half our arterial matrix is devoted to getting the GW gas out of our system along with other wastes as quickly as possible. The oceans currently absorb half the carbon dioxide created by the burning of fossil fuels and President Obama has appointed Al Gore to negotiate with the world’s bodies of water to absorb up to seventy-five percent.
“This means that if you are making out on the beach with someone who is breathing and drinking seltzer your exposure to the deadly gas is comparable to being in a gas chamber in Los Angeles,” said Doc Whipman. “We inserted rectal thermometers in couples really going at it on Ocean City, Maryland’s beach and noted a distinct rise in their temperatures. It’s the beginning of body warming which if it continues might make any climate change irrelevant.”
Dr. Whipman’s interpretation of the data is being disputed as overly optimistic by a number of scientists who claim that all the Earth’s water is rebelling and manufacturing carbon dioxide to annihilate all non-aquatic animal life and point to bottled spring waters showing similar carbonation.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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