Opportunity

Japan experienced the strongest earthquake recorded in its history this week followed by a tsunami American politicians can only dream about. As Japan’s emergency and armed services scramble to bring the government’s resources to where they are needed politicians calculate how to exploit the disaster to further their agendas.

Governor Wawaker of Prefecture Wawkawsen
“This is a national emergency so our public servants are going to have to pitch in and relinquish overtime and hazard pay as they work twenty hour days on the frontlines of the flood and radiation disasters.”

“This earthquake was caused by the heavy burden of public employee benefits on the tectonic plates of the Earth’s surface and I was elected to run our local government like a Chinese sweatshop in order to save the planet.”

Prime Minister Obawa
“I have asked the National Diet to pass emergency measures compelling the federal government to nationalize anything and everything that was shaken by the earthquake or dampened by the tsunami. Though this will be interpreted by some as socialism this week has proven that no individual is powerful enough to stand up to the forces of nature alone.”

“There will be aftershocks and more quakes but if my bill is passed no private property will be harmed as there will be no private property. If any individual or corporation contends that their property was undisturbed this week I’ll go down there and shake it myself.”

Don Arrup
Satire1