Satire1 took a poll of voters from around the nation on today's Midterm Election Day to see if they felt in any way encumbered, disenfranchised or castrated in the exercise of their constitutional right. All quotes are anonymous.
"This man stopped me at the entrance of the polling place and asked me my name. I told him I can't afford one since they closed the mill. Everybody just calls me asshole."
"I can't believe they have doors on the polling building. These are supposed to be open to the public and they put doors right where people are supposed to go in? What were they thinking?"
"There was a woman holding a baby on her hip and you know that baby was influencing her vote. She probably wants to spend my tax dollars on education, playgrounds, hospitals and other welfare programs."
"How come Jesus Christ isn't on this ballot? I'm not voting for the Devil!"
"I don't have an ID because my parents were zombies."
"I don't have an ID because my parents are from Mars."
"What do I need with an ID? The man just gave me a whole bottle to vote for what's his name."
"Hey, I fought in Civil World 2 and Koreanam and my glasses suck. These apple shiners want my vote they got to come in here and let me feel their mugs."
"It's time we let some other species run the planet."
"You get elected by telling everybody Washington is the worst place on Earth and then they send you there."
Don Arrup
Satire1
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