Missed Obituaries 2014

BUGS BUNNY (19-?-2014)

Hired by Warner Brothers in the late 30's as a cartoon extra for barnyard and parade scenes, Bugs skyrocketed to fame in his first starring role in A Wild Hare (1940) earning an Academy Award for best Rabbit and cementing his career at Warner's. Bugs continued making shorts for Warner's as the most popular cartoon character in the world until 1960 when his constant battle with sex and carrot addiction began to affect his career. 

A longtime resident of Toontown, Bugs was interviewed in the crime documentary, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) and then appeared again in NASA's training film, Space Jam (1996). BB later took his talents to education serving as principal and dean of Acme Looniversity and is survived by first squeeze Honey Bunny and current whoe Lola Bunny and his 482,621 offspring.

FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER (1818-2014, eighteenth known death)

Dr. Victor Frankenstein's monster or creature who came to be known simply as Frankenstein was born eight feet tall without a mother in a laboratory in Germany. Big Frank survived not only numerous marriages to females stitched together for his edification but fires, collapsing castles and exploding damns. Unable to find a fulfilling career or even a lowly job Frankie took to hanging out with blind men, hunchbacks and vampires- literally anyone who offered a little company and sustenance. 

Widely considered the poster boy for failed social services policies and liberal intervention, Dr. Frankenstein's creation would today be diagnosed as severely autistic and his habit of throwing small children in lakes and tearing arms off the of constables as poor cultural adaptation and political incorrectness.

MR. ED (1937-2014)

Bamboo Harvester was the castrated or gelding palomino who was remarkable not only for his ability to speak English but with such a deep voice for a eunuch. He was castrated by his keeper Wilber Post after he found Bamboo inside his wife Carol who definitely liked them big. Even after defusing the eleven hundred pound former stud, Wilbur ran his architect business out of the horse's stall so he could keep an eye on the rakish equine. 

By the early 90's, the talking horse was aggressively recruited by both right and left wing talk  radio stations but chose to keep his political views to himself. 

Don Arrup

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