Over the Din

The Constitution of the United States states “The House of Representatives shall chuse (their spelling not mine) their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole power of Impeachment.” This line ends Section 2 of Article 1 which describes the powers, election of and functions of the House. There is no reference to any of the powers of this “Speaker” or who might hold the office or even if it need be a member of the House. 

Though House Democrats have always automatically voted in their party leader, the Republicans have not. This opens the door to a far wider range of candidates which only Satire1 will share with you.

Donald Trump

Has said that he would be happy to run the House while he campaigns for the Presidency and plans to retain the position if elected President. Since the Constitution doesn’t prohibit it, Trump says that he would be the perfect two for one candidate. 

Lady GaGa

Claims to have both the voice to be heard over the chaos and the legs to kick reps in line. “I won’t need the House whip,” the chantreuse exclaimed. “I’m bringing in my mentor, Madonna, to crack the leather and put the brass back into the brassiere.”

Bill Cosby

“I’d talk to the women of the House first and the wives of some of these clowns. I just need some one on one time alone and I think we can really get down to it.”

Bill Clinton

“I have no hard feelings for those who impeached me. It was a different time and I think with me as their Speaker I could represent them well at the breakfast table when my wife’s elected.”

Stephen Colbert

“The Constitution doesn’t require that the Speaker be anywhere near Washington or even be alive or a human being. I could run this House of Representatives from my Late Show desk and address them in my monologues.”

Bill Belichick

“If I let all the hot air out of this Congress it would be more than enough to provide an atmosphere for Mars.”

Don Arrup

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