Surprising even some of her longest and closest supporters, Hillary Clinton joined Donald Trump in calling for a national referendum on the United States of America withdrawing from the human race and declaring its citizens a new species.
“I misunderstood Donald’s message about making America great again. Of course, we’ve always been great but the forces of globalization have crept too far into our lives and orifices pulling Americans down to the level of people in other countries. We’re not like people in other countries. They’re foreigners and we’re Americans!”
“Hill Bill and I are on the same page with this issue and I promise you whether I win or win I will throw my wholehearted support into the movement to get America out of the filthy, disgusting swamp we call humanity,” Donald Trump replied. “We have better cars and better hair products. Humanity is a loser. Those people in other countries are already extinct but their brains are too pink to realize it.”
“Now Mr. Trump and I certainly don’t see eye to eye on most issues but we really do need to get out of the whole antiquated mankind thing. Most Americans have roots in other countries and cultures but they got out of them and those places and if they look and sound like myself and Mr. Trump then they too can be Americans.”
“It’s not about race. It’s not about religion. Hill Bill and I are in complete agreement on that. I don’t care what white race you come from or what Christian religion you practice. Come to my casinos and I’ll see to it- personally, if need be- that we take your money. Your money is always green with me.”
“I’m in complete agreement with my friend Donald on that. Though Bill and I much prefer blank checks from bottomless pocketed billionaires we are Democrats and will stoop to taking small donations from the faceless masses.”
“That’s right. And whether I win or Hill Bill loses, we are determined to get our precious country out of the human race- that’s the race that everybody hates.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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