Trump blames every problem on Mexico and the Democrats try to prove that Russia is the root of all evils but Satire1 has unearthed evidence that both are correct. Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby are both double agents working for Mexico and Russia simultaneously to disrupt elections, debase American entertainment, set back the cause of women and flood or burn as many American homes as possible.
Meteorologists for the FBI have confirmed that Hurricane Harvey was indeed Hurricane Harvey Weinstein performing his bathrobe and mash act on a coastal scale in Texas and then harassing Irma out of her harmless Atlantic spin to race for her dignity up and down both coasts of Florida.
“Maria had no plans for a Caribbean vacation but had to sweep south and west when the terrible open bathrobe came after her,” according to the FBI report. Many Puerto Ricans suspected that the great white Hollywood whale might be to blame for their set back to the 18th Century.
“All these supposed natural disasters might have only been a distraction to get Cosby off the front pages so he could prepare central California for his barbecue that was to leave only Hollywood and Silicon Valley intact,” Special Agent Walrus explained.
The entire operation was coordinated out of a Domino’s Pizza shop in Baltimore, Maryland’s famous French Quarter. Years of meticulous planning from the silencing of leading actresses who usually become the spokeswomen for victims of natural disasters to fueling debates over global warming and the redefining of collegiate rape led to the nation letting down its guard and pants to the duo diablos.
“Harvey Weinstein was always a hurricane. Whirlwind producer/seducer of films of every genre, crossing the oceans and continents for victims and talent and always in a hurry hurry hurry. Bill Cosby played it cooler. Upset that his outlandish explanations didn’t cause earthquakes along the San Andreas fault he switched tactics to burn the women of central California who he claimed were infected with yeast.”
President Trump lamented that he has been friends with Weinstein since they attended Putin’s Secret Billionaire Indoctrination Camp together in 2004 while Hilary Clinton said that Mexico only had the best of intentions in destroying the economy of the southern half of the United States.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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