President Donald Trump called an emergency meeting of the White House National Security Team and the Cabinet members to discuss the possibility that the relentless bombardment of business as usual could continue into next week and leave the government no choice but to clean up the countless disasters nature, Washington and Wall Street have rendered.
Satire1 interviewed countless White House staffers and relatives (same thing) on the prospects of actually running the country.
Great Aunt
We were just getting good at The New Apprentice, Natural and National Disasters Edition when suddenly the wind stops blowing, the terrorists run out of ammo and there aren’t any new floods to draw attention away from the last headline. This is going to hurt our ratings.
Poor Relation
I don’t know. I belong to some agency around here and they’re talking about going to Puerto Rico which they say is so flooded the people there don’t have water.
Dutch Uncle
They can send me anywhere in the world where they have their own NFL team. Well, not Arizona. I told everybody near the border the wall would be up before Christmas.
Kissing Cousin
The mayor of San Juan kept addressing the President like he was her husband. I’ve never seen that work on a husband and I doubt it works on presidents.
Half Brother of a Half Brother
After Texas flooded I had calls from every Lt Governor in the the fifty states and protectorates and I said the exact same thing to everyone of them. FEMA has got more than enough funds for half a disaster. Don’t have a second half to your disaster and god help you if you aren’t the first one.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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