Schools in Sight

The National Rifle Association reached deep into its firearm manufacturers funding to hire the Bloods and the Crips to provide security in cash strapped and overcooked Los Angeles County public schools. Originally wooing Mexican Drug Lords to provide manpower to keep LA children safe from terrorists, the NRA withdrew the offer in the face of criticism that many native drug gang soldiers were un or under employed. 

These hit men and women are well armed enough to case the halls and man the entrances of surviving pre and elementary schools in the greater Los Angeles area. Middle and secondary schools that are already enjoying a healthy proportion of gang members in their student populations have been deemed safe by their communities for everyone except the LAPD.

Dripping Ax, leader of a South LA Blood gang, explained the convergence of interests. "We Bloods won't have any white nut jobs coming into our hood and cutting into our franchise. We do the killing around here. But taking soldiers off the streets when they could be pushing the bag and rolling tourists cuts into our bottom line. So the Big White Gun Gang is providing us with ammo to take care of the community's business and our own."

Smoke Corpse, a high ranking member of a Central LA Crips gang agrees. "Kids in little school are too corn to be in gangs and should be left alone. We tried giving biscuits to our baby bangers who used to just hold them for us. Problem is they bawl after smokin somebody. Can't have that in our colors."

Don Arrup

Satire1