Exposed

Satire1 takes to the quiet streets of Manhattan on this uncelebrated Saint Patrick’s Day to interview (at a distance of six feet) New Yorkers and now rare tourists on how COVID19 or the Corona Virus is affecting their life.

Woman in a big hat

“I’m wearing a big hat because I’m afraid to get my hair done. I don’t even know if they’re open. My husband uses sex to burn off anxiety and, well, it works.”

Man with a big nose

“I can smell the fear coming out of every building. I can’t smell the virus but your sweat and whatever you let go of in your pants when somebody nearby coughs is plain enough.”

Barkeep

“There used to be nothing better than a midweek St. Pat’s and New Year’s Eve. Well, this Cobitch19 has done a better job than Carrie Nation at closing us all down.”

Teenage girl wearing lipstick

“Of course we spent the day together. We were on a date. And duh, we held hands and other second date stuff. And now all the adults are telling me he exposed me? If he ever had his thing out I can tell you I didn’t see it. Gross.”

Boy on his bike

“I love snow holidays but I wouldn’t call this a plague holiday. It’s all homework and no friends and even when I’m off everything is closed. And I can’t visit my grandma. My teacher told us we could be carrying the crown and even though it doesn’t bother us it can really harm and even kill grandma. Even if it’s only one grandma in twenty that would still be somebody in my class losing their grandma. And a grandpa.”

Safe Saint Patrick’s Day

Don Arrup

Satire1