Okay, so we sank a trillion bucks into Bankula and his financial fiends to save them from extinction. Immediately after we pull the stake they drove into their own hearts and the economy’s they deploy an army of robots to rush foreclosures through the night. If in the securitized mess the trusts cannot find the documents necessary they can always get “created” documents for a fee from a zombie subsidiary of Lending Processing Services which is involved in half of the country’s foreclosures. Inevitably, Bankula and Bankenstein sometimes end up trying to foreclose on the same home if Bankzilla hasn’t already. Since no one knows who owns what or if any of the home loans were legal to begin with why not?
Expecting Bankula to lend to small businesses is like expecting Dracula to donate to a blood drive. Expecting Bankenstein to restructure mortgages is like asking Frankenstein’s monster to take over the surgery.
My question is why foreclose on a home you cannot sell? Why throw anyone out who is paying you a dime a month on a loan you can’t prove you or who made?
The answer is the books. Their balance sheets. If the Bank Vaders admitted for a moment that they are just as broke as the rest of us they couldn’t give themselves huge bonuses or hire ex-Senators to lobby against regulations to protect us from their next feeding frenzy. And they would fall under TARP. TARP or the Total Asshole Rapist Protection Authority would come in and fire the greedy maniacs and sell the concern to a Grandmothers Investment Club in Chung King.
Could the Grandmothers do worse? Could anyone? Isn’t it best to be raped by your fellow Americans and their terrorist funding friends? At least we’d have someone to throw in jail after we pay off his or her spouse.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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