Okay, so here we are two and a half years into the Great Recession, just days before a federal government shutdown, home prices falling, oil and food prices rising, flying into another war wearing a NATO T shirt. Baseball opened in the snow. Football will be played in the courtrooms. And the worst Academy Awards broadcast ever.
Still, we’re lucky compared to most of the world. China is literally running out of women. The Arab world has run out of bullshit. Europe has nothing but and Japan is shaken, soaked and burning.
Why doesn’t this make us feel better? Our rivals and enemies are crumbling while we’re only falling, rising and stumbling. We should be happy but instead we are scared.
A decade from now, when Canada and Nepal dominate the world things will be different. California and Japan will be physically and politically part of the Philippines, the preeminent Asian power. The Divided States of America embroiled in over two hundred border wars and contested control of key highways. Europeans will have returned to slaughtering each other over copyright infringements and soccer games. Israel will be a Muslim state after Iran and Saudi Arabia converted to Judaism. While the Caribbean Islands becomes the center of world finance and shoe fashion.
Sitcoms will have gone the way of Soap Operas. Broadway will be all nursing homes and gay clubs as if it wasn’t already. Sports will be played by robots and music replaced by digital stethoscopes with which people will dance to the grind of their own internal organs.
There will still be taxes on everything. Debt will begin at birth, as parents will no longer foot the bills for their offspring. Schools will be mandatory and charge college like tuition graduating citizen serfs whose sole freedom is to vote for the Board of Directors which replaced Congress and the Robber Baron who acts as executive. A bank charter will replace the Constitution.
Marriage will be illegal for all while prostitution will be considered a rite of passage for young folk and the best means of erasing the accrued debt of their upbringing. Romance will be treated as a mental illness and Love recognized as the delusional psychosis it has always been.
The world’s population will hold at about 22 billion. The oceans will be lifeless and only twelve other species larger than insects will survive. Genetically altered corn will be the only crop and dog the only meat. All diseases will be fatal including acne and halitosis. Still McDonald’s will thrive.
Or not.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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