Thomas McFerley, the reincarnation of Saint Patrick under 5'10", has razed the British Isles and burned down half of Belgium and France on his way to take on "the capitalist hun" Merkel of Germany. Leading a rag tag population of at least two million, McFerley's Irish Socialist International Squatters have vowed to leave "no bank behind" in their wake of debt and destruction.
Borrowing without collateral from every lender and woman with a purse across Western Europe, the anti-capitalist crusade is leaving tabs at every pub, tavern, restaurant and brothel claiming each "citizen" of the Irish Spring is an autonomous state in the universal confederation of moochers.
"The illegitimate governments we've had up to today printed their own money. But we of the fantastic, free and unencumbered Irish Socialist International Squatters write our own IOUs which are not only more personal but can be cashed in for truly sincere apologies and heartfelt regrets," McFerley said.
"The financial systems as they were were totally rigged toward the rich. Only people with money could spend it which left most of us out in the cold. IOUs are so much more democratic and available to every literate citizen. We understand that this is a radical change from credit cards and cash and some businesses are not equipped to handle them so we've issued death warrants for noncompliance to sort of nudge things along."
Deadbeats and chronic debtors from every corner of Europe have swarmed to join the army of beggars who claim to be establishing Europe as an Anarchist Anarchate on the principles expounded by Alfred E. Neuman, editor in chief at Mad Magazine.
When approached by reporters at Mad's office at 1700 Broadway and asked if he feared his ideas would bring more destruction to Europe than the two world wars Neuman replied:
"What, me worry?"
Happy Saint Patrick's Day
Don Arrup
Satire1
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