Nimoy To Address Congress From Grave

The spirit of Leonard Nimoy has been invited by House Speaker Boehner to address a joint session of Congress on the threat to the United Federation of Planets future posed by the Klingons and Romulans. Siting former President Reagan's push to prepare for future millennial conflicts, Boehner directed the House Way Outs and What Means Committee to subpoena Madam Bandana to conjure the spirit of the actor who played Science and First Officer Spock on the original Star Trek series.

Speaker Boehner believed that Nimoy, even though dead, would be the perfect prognosticator  for the long view of the future of the United States at this time since he was both Jewish and Ukrainian. 

Satire1 interviewed Senators and Congresspersons all who demanded anonymity:

"We can't do anything about Iran, North Korea, China or Russia. We have the biggest military in history and we can't do anything with it here. Let's kick Mars' ass."

"We can't wait for Obama to take the lead on these aliens. He won't close the border of our country and he's been leaving our sky as open as an Ivy League Coed's legs."

"I know the Klingons and Feds will eventually get along after we whip their butt."

"I'm glad that since the Speaker has decided to have open mike night here in Congress that we get some real crowd pleasers in here."

"My son got into that Vulcan vogue before college. I didn't mind the tattoos and drugs. I'm just glad he didn't get his ears elongated."

"Hey, this is the Capitol. We don't do logical here."

*The Leonard Nimoy Thalia Theatre shares the same street as the Mad Playwright.

Don Arrup

Satire1