As thousands of animals and non biological creatures continue to pour into the Upper West Side of Manhattan in search of the sanctuary of Sesame Street, Mickey Monster continues his extermination of the non rodent population of Disneyland and World. Former Governor and Republican Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush declines responsibility and points to his repeated warning that the state within his state of Florida known as Disney World was on the edge of genocidal ethnic cleansing.
“When the Mouse was first thrown out in a coup in Disneyland inside California and came to D World in our state I begged Obama to protect the puppets and talking insects. But Obama has been so hands off that soon Bambi and Jiminy Cricket were burning in the hearth where Pinocchio was the timber.”
Donald Trump dismissed the crisis as a common corporate makeover. “Bambi, Thumper, the Little Mermaid. These are not Americans we’re talking about. Pinocchio is Italian and I don’t know what North Korean province Frozen takes place in. CEO Micky has every right to purge these deadbeat freeloaders from his payroll. I can tell you Walt wouldn’t bat an eye the second the sales of any of these cartoon images dipped.”
Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina disagreed. “It was a blood bath in Anaheim when Goofy slaughtered Micky’s top management to take over the helm. Wall Street had written MM off until he popped up at Disney World with Warren Buffet’s Berkshire Hathaway shares and a handful of hedge funds from Hell’s backing. Soon Goofy was in the same doghouse as Pluto and that dog isn’t even considered a planet anymore.”
Mayor de Blasio has declared a state of emergency as New Jersey and Delaware continue to allow the river of storybook, toy store, oceanic and space critters to migrate through on their way to the Children’s Television Workshop home just north of Lincoln Center. Kermit the Frog, considered by most experts on organized crime to be the Godfather of the Muppets, commented on the invasion.
“Sesame Street is one block in Manhattan and the Children’s Television Workshop has a studio the size of a soccer field in Queens. Just where do all these cartoons think they’re going? Not only do we not have room for them but we market to a completely different demographic. Its Educational Toys vs Just Shut Your Screaming Kid Up shit. Two totally different cultures.”
President Obama answered the criticism in his weekly radio address.
“Look, the United States has always had sovereign nations within the borders of our states. The Native American tribes we didn’t completely wipe out have reservations. And like our former base in Panama and current base in Cuba which were both established by gunboat treaty, the United States enjoys a presence up the ass of other countries. Disneyland and Disney World are unique in that they represent an invasion and seduction that allowed the dictator Walt Disney to experiment with bio systems where small mammals were allowed greater freedom of expression to use language and dress in clothes. Marine, birds, monsters, space and even common household objects soon petitioned for their own existence and were tolerated in a multi-reality animated universe which now, unfortunately, has collapsed into unspeakable horror.”
“Our intelligence agencies and the Pentagon carefully monitored these Disney islands since they are within our borders and apart of our economy. Mr. Mouse set about isolating and exterminating the fairy godmothers, good witches, friendly wizards and other forces of tolerance and democracy before beginning his final solution to the multi-species cartoon. Since we have no jurisdiction in the territories under Mickey’s control, I have called on the United Nations who decline to become involved in entertainment issues.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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