Now that the United States averages about one mass shooting a day matchmakers have taken note of the new trend of couples gunning down strangers en masse in order to deepen their relationships and blow off steam. As the internet replaces schools, neighborhoods and even the workplace as the place to find a date new websites are offering dating services that takes the individual’s preferences in armaments into consideration.
“If a man only has one bulge in his pants he ain’t for me.”
“You should have seen the bazookas the last gal I met on Aim For The Heart match site had.”
“All my life I’ve had a Colt between my fingers and between my legs. And now some town slicker wants me handling his Smith and Wesson on our first date?”
“Cupid ain’t taking down no Wyoming man with arrows. That red baby’s got to pack some real heat.”
“I don’t want a man with a lot of guns. I want a man with one big gun and who knows how to use it.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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