Donald Trump addressing the...
National Congress of American Indians
“Not if but when I’m elected the first order of the first day is to begin the deportation of these mongrel European Americans. I will probably need both terms to get out the over 200 million pale faces but once we start the original illegal immigrants will be out of here by 2022 at the latest and finally, after four centuries it will be America for Americans again under a Donald Trump presidency.”
National Organization for Women
“Listen to me. Hillary is not the guy for you. Hillary is a man in a wig and pants suit. Has the same junk down there that I have. He- I really do feel sorry for him- is just some poor transgender woman wannabe before it was popular- before David Bowie wore makeup on his album covers- who got a minority gender scholarship to Wellesley and got to say a few words when he graduated.”
“If Billary- that’s much closer to his name at birth- wants to see my tax return, fine. Fine. I’ll bring my tax return and drop it right in front of the camera when he drops his pants.”
Fort Bennington, Georgia
“I’ve already swept your state in the primary so for once I can speak my mind. You soldiers should be ashamed of yourselves. America doesn’t send her sons and daughters to foreign shores to tidy up a little and smooth out the sheets. American taxpayers- your bosses- expect you to make a tidal wave of blood that will clean out any conflict- religious or political, economic or geographic, real or imagined- with the barrel of your guns. So why are you sitting here when there are still Muslims walking the streets of the Middle East? ”
U.S. Council of Muslim Organizations
“You can’t tell me about Jews. I live in New York- which along with Miami and Hollywood are the real Israel. That little tourist colony in Palestine you’re always getting your turbans bunched up into a fatwa about is just a marker for a couple of temples so Judaism can stay in the top three.”
“You guys fight over Palestine like it was beach front property instead of endless desert. Obviously, God doesn’t like any of you anymore. It’s not the Holy Land anymore. God’s out of there. Jesus would rather be dead. And ladies, if you had hair as great as mine you wouldn’t cover it with a scarf.”
Mexican American Political Association
“Through prohibitive taxation and bayonets we’ll push all the gringos into the MidWest and Dakotas. Mexico can take back Texas which voted for the liar anyway and New Mexico will return to old Mexico. Then I’ll top it off with the grandest Trump Super Casa right along the wall we’ll build to keep the gringos out.”
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People
“I’m not white. Jeb Bush was the white guy. The white guy is done. I’m the gold guy. Look at my name on my buildings. Fourteen karat. And I’m putting my name on the walls we’re going to build around our inner cities to keep the Korean grocers out. The foreigners charging you two bits a banana and near a buck an apple. They’re the ones forcing you into McDonald’s and killing you with diabesity so they can buy up your houses and sell them to the Chinese.”
Asian American Alliance
“A Jew, two Hispanics, a Mormon, a billionaire- me, a woman and a black guy are taking or have taken their shot at being the President of the United States. Where’s the Asian? The whole world is running for president. There’s got to be an Asian. And there is, ladies and gentlemen. I’m from Queens which has practically been an Asian country for twenty years.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
No comments:
Post a Comment