Alice in Issues Land

The US District Court of Manhattan has issued 212 permits this year to groups protesting the controversial Alice in Wonderland statue in New York’s Central Park. The court has also issued 420 permits for demonstrations supporting the work. The sculpture depicts characters from Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland just above the east 72cd Street entrance close to the Children’s Zoo.

Members of Leave Kids Alone claim that the posture and disposition of the seven year old heroine suggests she is “servicing” the oddballs and animals surrounding her and is a celebration of child molestation and bestiality while the Champions of Pedophilia counter marched claiming the figures depict our heritage of child marriage and cross breeding. Three Native American tribes claim that the mushroom the party takes place on is a sacred part of their religion while Japanese Americans think the mushroom represents Nagasaki’s worst day.

Last month, Antifa clashed  with supporters of the National Organization of Women over whether White Rabbit was White Supremacist Rabbit or Playboy Rabbit. As the blood spilled out into the street Brownshirts and Ku Klux Klan members entered and polished WR and pledged undying loyalty to the figure chanting “White on white is right!”

Over a dozen Tea Party groups from across the nation have paid tribute to their founder The Mad Hatter who has been particularly jovial for an inanimate bronze object since President Trump was elected.  A few conservation groups have made appearances questioning the absence of his Mad Tea Party mates March Hare and the narcoleptic Dormouse. In March, Black Rabbits Matter formed a strike line in front of the statue for a week protesting the absence of the dark March Hare and the prominence of The White Rabbit.

Food Purists and Anti-GMO groups chose to bring their own Mock Turtle figure who is not depicted in the diorama. Mock Turtle who sings “Beautiful Soup” to Alice as he blubbers has a calve’s head on a turtle’s body illustrating how a calve’s head was often substituted for the pure pescetarian delicacy. 

Other characters not portrayed in the diorama proved no less controversial. Numerous Democratic clubs and organizations that supported Bernie Sanders marched around the statue against the Clintons who they said acted like the Queen and King of Hearts in the last election.

Don Arrup

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