The twelve boys and coach of Thailand’s Wild Boar Soccer Team while in quarantine were accidentally exposed to political and economic news along with the world’s attention to their plight. After two days rumination the boys, ranging in age from 11 to 16, and their coach have opted to return to the back of the Tham Luang cave complex as soon as possible.
Quotes are unattributed to protect the anonymity of the players.
“Trade wars, babies at borders, religious wars, World Cup upsets, drug wars, and the Mueller probe has gone further up the American President’s ass than we were in the caves.”
“Our government was overthrown by the military a couple of years ago and is controlled by god knows who and we’re the circus to get people past the idea that they’ve been fucked.”
“I was deeply disappointed to discover our coach wasn’t a pedophile. Deeply.”
“I don’t like pants.”
“I thought Croatia was like a weed or fungus and now they’re playing for the World Cup?”
“It looked a lot less bleak in the cave.”
“If you can get a signal there and can recharge your phone it won’t be that different.”
“We’re the world’s whorehouse and our schools suck.”
“There are people in my village who don’t like pants.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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