Pelosi's Worst Nightmare

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi passed a resolution last week condemning Anti-Semitism and all forms of bigotry after a freshwoman representative from Minnesota suggested that support of Israel in our government is “all about the Benjamins.”

Satire1 has gone to the Capitol to question those who supposedly represent us on how they feel about this issue.

Rep. Rick Prick (R) of Oklahoma

“I don’t know why Minnesota gets to have legislators in our government. Are we really going to pretend it isn’t part of Greater South Canada?”

Rep. Bill Nasal (D) of Iowa

“Everybody’s asking me what happened at Pelosi’s closed door meeting with da dems. Well, there was some sex and there was some violence- after a reasonable introductory debate. Business as usual.”

Rep. Popeye Sailorman (R) of Maryland

“We shoulds build a wall round Israel while we’re buildin’ our wall gainst Mexico. Trump’s in da construction biznez. He shoulds be able to get us a twofer.”

Rep. Alfred Hitler (National Socialist) of Georgia

“Ilhan Omar is right. The Jews are gremlins destroying our precious aviation industry and why Franklin has a Jewish first name must be investigated!”

Senator Nebuchadnezzar (Independent) of Wyoming 

“In my time there was no corruption, lobbying or payola. I just took half of everything and everyone was happy.”

Rep. Patrick O’Blarney of  The Bronx

“My parents were active in Irish politics in the 70’s raising money here to send to the widows and orphans of IRA terrorists. How many of those widows and orphans were shot out of guns or exploded in baby carriages is anyone’s guess.”

Rep. Cleo Castro of Miami

“How anyone can justify influencing our government on behalf of another country is unconscionable. Especially when we need to invade Cuba immediately to recover my great grandfather’s cigar plantation.”

   

Senator Corey Hooker (D), former madame of Newark, New Jersey

“Representative Ilhan Omar wasn’t wrong. She was just too narrow. Everything in Washington and everything our politicians do is all about the Benjamins.”

Don Arrup

Satire1