Both the lying and hallucinating press have narrowed their focus on just a handful of the boatload of executive orders signed by (Not?) President Biden so Satire1, once again, is here to fill in the gap on the more esoteric not laws that will rule our lives.
E.O. 13
Products of the Sun will be subject to tariffs until said star conforms with Daylight Savings Time
(Product destined for the state of Arizona is exempt)
EO 103
Revives Obama’s Fair Weather EO establishing a more equitable distribution of rain and sunshine across the continental United States.
(Also funds Obama’s defunded National Weather Making Service.)
EO 122
Illicit Sex Tax
(Infidelity and copulation on first and second dates will be taxed as income by the IRS. Penalties for one night stands.)
EO 123
Licit Sex Tax
(Socially acceptable sexual relationships will be taxed as assets which the IRS has already dubbed the ass tax.)
EO 169
A post Covid holiday on the fifth Thursday of August, Hug the Undocumented Day.
(All federal employees and military personnel have to give it upon request to anyone claiming to be a legal or illegal immigrant or descendent of such.)
EO 199
Pandemic Halloween Rain checks
(Last Day of April will be Halloween makeup night. Costumed children can legally threaten vandalism if not bribed with either alcohol, tobacco or lottery tickets.)
Don Arrup
Satire1
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