Japan trusted Nature
To not be too cruel
Now all of their technology
Makes them look like a fool
Iraq is about over
Afghanistan’s a bore
Go to North Africa
And find a new war
We spend four times on the old
What we do on the young
The rest pay the bills
So who’s having fun?
Teachers expelled
Police off the street
Library’s closing
Mayors taking the heat
Washington’s the wolf
Who huffs and who puffs
And inside the straw house
Is no one but us
Don Arrup
Satire1
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Opportunity
Japan experienced the strongest earthquake recorded in its history this week followed by a tsunami American politicians can only dream about. As Japan’s emergency and armed services scramble to bring the government’s resources to where they are needed politicians calculate how to exploit the disaster to further their agendas.
Governor Wawaker of Prefecture Wawkawsen
“This is a national emergency so our public servants are going to have to pitch in and relinquish overtime and hazard pay as they work twenty hour days on the frontlines of the flood and radiation disasters.”
“This earthquake was caused by the heavy burden of public employee benefits on the tectonic plates of the Earth’s surface and I was elected to run our local government like a Chinese sweatshop in order to save the planet.”
Prime Minister Obawa
“I have asked the National Diet to pass emergency measures compelling the federal government to nationalize anything and everything that was shaken by the earthquake or dampened by the tsunami. Though this will be interpreted by some as socialism this week has proven that no individual is powerful enough to stand up to the forces of nature alone.”
“There will be aftershocks and more quakes but if my bill is passed no private property will be harmed as there will be no private property. If any individual or corporation contends that their property was undisturbed this week I’ll go down there and shake it myself.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
Governor Wawaker of Prefecture Wawkawsen
“This is a national emergency so our public servants are going to have to pitch in and relinquish overtime and hazard pay as they work twenty hour days on the frontlines of the flood and radiation disasters.”
“This earthquake was caused by the heavy burden of public employee benefits on the tectonic plates of the Earth’s surface and I was elected to run our local government like a Chinese sweatshop in order to save the planet.”
Prime Minister Obawa
“I have asked the National Diet to pass emergency measures compelling the federal government to nationalize anything and everything that was shaken by the earthquake or dampened by the tsunami. Though this will be interpreted by some as socialism this week has proven that no individual is powerful enough to stand up to the forces of nature alone.”
“There will be aftershocks and more quakes but if my bill is passed no private property will be harmed as there will be no private property. If any individual or corporation contends that their property was undisturbed this week I’ll go down there and shake it myself.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Don't Get Tunisia On Me
Children of Mad Wisconsin
Gather in the square
Refusing to wear their underwear
Promises to voters
The workers be damned
Strike if you like
Let politicians ham
Minority pols are on the lam
Holed up in hotels
Watching C Span
Concessions offered
But are they enough
The deficit’s written
In taxpayers’ blood
The weaker Govs
Who helped make this mess
Nowhere to be found
As this goes to press
Gov Walker unswerving
Has the law under heel
But is this change
An old or new deal
Triumphant Arabs
Your day in Sun
Know that your battles
Have just begun
Don Arrup
Saitre1
Gather in the square
Refusing to wear their underwear
Promises to voters
The workers be damned
Strike if you like
Let politicians ham
Minority pols are on the lam
Holed up in hotels
Watching C Span
Concessions offered
But are they enough
The deficit’s written
In taxpayers’ blood
The weaker Govs
Who helped make this mess
Nowhere to be found
As this goes to press
Gov Walker unswerving
Has the law under heel
But is this change
An old or new deal
Triumphant Arabs
Your day in Sun
Know that your battles
Have just begun
Don Arrup
Saitre1
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Egypt
Since there was only one story briefly interrupted by the Super Bowl but which has now resolved into a military democratic dictatorship caliphate Satire1 looks at how the newspapers and programs portrayed the struggle.
New York Times
Protestors Continue Pressure For Health Care Reform
Wall Street Journal
Protestors Riot Over Regulations
Tobacco Times
Arab Protests Continue Over Hookah Ban
Tea Party Tattler
Cairo Tax Party Continues
National Enquirer
Mummies Join Egyptian Protestors In Streets
MSNBC
Obama Overthrows Mubarak
FOX NEWS
Obama Assumes Presidency In Egypt
Jewish Times
Obama Abandons Loyal Tyrant
Don Arrup
Satire1
New York Times
Protestors Continue Pressure For Health Care Reform
Wall Street Journal
Protestors Riot Over Regulations
Tobacco Times
Arab Protests Continue Over Hookah Ban
Tea Party Tattler
Cairo Tax Party Continues
National Enquirer
Mummies Join Egyptian Protestors In Streets
MSNBC
Obama Overthrows Mubarak
FOX NEWS
Obama Assumes Presidency In Egypt
Jewish Times
Obama Abandons Loyal Tyrant
Don Arrup
Satire1
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Ides Of February
As if being single wasn’t hard enough
Romantic misadventures
Replay in opaque fuzz
More forgotten than felt
Only the confusion is clear
Pretty faces, vulnerable eyes
Haunt me this quiet morn
But their accumulation
Dissipates them
There is no One
Thank god
So I miss nobody
Her absence much easier to endure
And her wrath no more
Than the general ache of being alive
Perhaps this is reason to celebrate
The Ides of February
Another Valentine’s survived
Don Arrup
Satire1
Romantic misadventures
Replay in opaque fuzz
More forgotten than felt
Only the confusion is clear
Pretty faces, vulnerable eyes
Haunt me this quiet morn
But their accumulation
Dissipates them
There is no One
Thank god
So I miss nobody
Her absence much easier to endure
And her wrath no more
Than the general ache of being alive
Perhaps this is reason to celebrate
The Ides of February
Another Valentine’s survived
Don Arrup
Satire1
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Baltimore Joins MidEast Upheaval
The City of Baltimore, Maryland broke out in massive demonstrations as students and taxi drivers faced off with police in the streets of the downtown area over a host of issues that has had commentators referring to Charm City as the “Tunisia of the West.”
As the port city to the Old Line State of Maryland whose northern border with Pennsylvania constitutes the Mason Dixon Line or division of North and South going back to colonial times Baltimore is literally the Middle East of the United States.
A long failing public school system, increasing unemployment, extreme weather, a disappointing Ravens playoff run and the near impossibility of singles to get laid has the population near the breaking point.
“This city was as hot as Iraq last summer and now we’re living on the North Pole and the Governor has refused to act.”
Complaints that politicians allowed HBO to abandon “The Wire” in favor of a New Orleans based series is interpreted by many as the final straw in the decline of the city.
“New Orleans isn’t even America. Only Europeans listen to jazz and where the hell are the guns?”
“The Steelers stole that Division playoff game. We were whipping their butt until the local officials pumped stupid gas into the Visitors locker room at halftime and the mayor didn’t even protest.”
“I’ve heard rumors they’re putting celery in crab cakes in New York and calling them Maryland Crab Cakes.”
Editor’s Note: This rumor has been confirmed.
Drug dealers complain that they can’t find high school graduates with enough proficiency in division and subtraction to carry out proper drug deals and many recent graduates haven’t had enough science education to even use a book of matches.
Maryland State law gives tenure to public school teachers after only two years and parents feeling their children’s futures are being wasted by an intractable education bureaucracy are calling on local drug kingpins to stand up for the community and have bad teachers murdered.
“Good teachers don’t need tenure. The teachers that need tenure need a bullet.”
When the kingpins declined to get involved experts reminded them that soon no graduates would be educated enough to be able to afford drugs.
Don Arrup
Satire1
As the port city to the Old Line State of Maryland whose northern border with Pennsylvania constitutes the Mason Dixon Line or division of North and South going back to colonial times Baltimore is literally the Middle East of the United States.
A long failing public school system, increasing unemployment, extreme weather, a disappointing Ravens playoff run and the near impossibility of singles to get laid has the population near the breaking point.
“This city was as hot as Iraq last summer and now we’re living on the North Pole and the Governor has refused to act.”
Complaints that politicians allowed HBO to abandon “The Wire” in favor of a New Orleans based series is interpreted by many as the final straw in the decline of the city.
“New Orleans isn’t even America. Only Europeans listen to jazz and where the hell are the guns?”
“The Steelers stole that Division playoff game. We were whipping their butt until the local officials pumped stupid gas into the Visitors locker room at halftime and the mayor didn’t even protest.”
“I’ve heard rumors they’re putting celery in crab cakes in New York and calling them Maryland Crab Cakes.”
Editor’s Note: This rumor has been confirmed.
Drug dealers complain that they can’t find high school graduates with enough proficiency in division and subtraction to carry out proper drug deals and many recent graduates haven’t had enough science education to even use a book of matches.
Maryland State law gives tenure to public school teachers after only two years and parents feeling their children’s futures are being wasted by an intractable education bureaucracy are calling on local drug kingpins to stand up for the community and have bad teachers murdered.
“Good teachers don’t need tenure. The teachers that need tenure need a bullet.”
When the kingpins declined to get involved experts reminded them that soon no graduates would be educated enough to be able to afford drugs.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Children
Children never ask themselves if they can dance or sing. They just do. Then at some murky point of misunderstood maturity they wonder if their dancing is cool and compare their singing to professionals. People love their iPods and TV but something has been lost but not completely.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Don Arrup
Satire1
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
New Year Blues
My life
No idea
Feeling
Snowed in
Tired
yeah
Confused
what?
Off my feet
Headache
New Year
New rock
Boulder rolling
Like a hand on a watch
Don’t get it together
Spread out
You rush
You crush
Don Arrup
Satire1
No idea
Feeling
Snowed in
Tired
yeah
Confused
what?
Off my feet
Headache
New Year
New rock
Boulder rolling
Like a hand on a watch
Don’t get it together
Spread out
You rush
You crush
Don Arrup
Satire1
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011 Resolutions
President Barack Obama
Cut taxes and spending
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi
Raise taxes and spending
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell
Stop Obama
House Speaker Steve Boehner
Stop crying
Vice President Joe Biden
Stop
Wall Street
Stop
WikiLeaks
Stop
Tea Party
Enough
MoveOn.org
Too much
American Public
Grow up
Satire1
Wrap it
Don Arrup
Satire1
Cut taxes and spending
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi
Raise taxes and spending
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell
Stop Obama
House Speaker Steve Boehner
Stop crying
Vice President Joe Biden
Stop
Wall Street
Stop
WikiLeaks
Stop
Tea Party
Enough
MoveOn.org
Too much
American Public
Grow up
Satire1
Wrap it
Don Arrup
Satire1
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