With the National Football League's Super Bowl, the most watched sporting event and broadcast in the world, just days away, the investigation into the New England Patriots responsibility and perhaps even conspiracy to deflate balls used in their playoff games refuses to go away.
Satire1 in the spirit of good sportsmanship and fair play has interviewed leading historical figures on the controversy.
Al Capone
"Hey, I don't mind the Patriot's tight end going up the river for running his own Murder Incorporated but deflating the game balls is just out of line."
Captain Morgan
"I can understand Ray Rice punching his fiance and OJ murdering his ex and Vick drowning his dogs because that was family and should stay in the home but come game day you've got to show a little respect for the rules."
Dutch Schultz
"So what if the Saints coaches were paying off defensive players for injuring key opponents? That's just healthy competition. But dealing out dead balls in big games is Un-American."
Ted Kaczynski (The Unabomber)
"Squashing reports that your league's players are scrambling their brains in every game is just sound marketing but letting the air out of the rock is serious business."
John Gotti
"The problem is that the players are taking all the drugs when it's the coaches that need them. I know what it's like to run a criminal organization."
John Wilkes Booth
"Look, Favre's phallic selfies, the Vikings Whoe Boat, drugs, DWIs, domestic violence, murders and Bountygate are fine but Belichick already had Spygate. Somebody ought to let the air out of his balls."
Don Arrup
Satire1
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