Obama Moves To Recognize Florida

After over a half century of diplomatic isolation, the State of Florida could be next in line after Cuba for formal diplomatic relations with the United States. The 27th state is populated by alligator wrestlers, retired New Yorkers, Cuban Exile Militias and overpaid sports stars. One of their U.S. Senators, Marco Rubio, is even running for president of this country on the premise that President Obama, a native of Japan's Hawaii, could sweep the Sunshine State into Washington's jurisdiction.

Currently controlled by the dictatorial Ghost of Walt Disney who speaks through an actor in a Mickey Mouse suit, GOD or Ghost of Disney as he is known has been consolidating power and turning back federal officials sent to investigate the Pain and Medicare Clinic empires that have enjoyed exponential growth under ObamaChaos.

Many native Floridians speak English or at least have been exposed to it and know our obscene hand gestures and tongue contortions. Some have even served in the United States military after their Exile Expeditionary Invasion Force duties were fulfilled. Florida participates in American sports on both the collegiate and professional level. Former Governor General Jeb Bush, both sired by and sibling to former U.S. presidents, is also considering a run for the Oval Office once he settles on what race he belongs to.

Florida exercises its own foreign policy being at war with Cuba and occasionally with the Democratic Party in close national elections but has no problem with Iran or Vladimir Putin. Since Wet T Shirt Contests and Tropical Cocktails comprise Florida's two major religions they have escaped sectarian violence and terrorism thus far. The Florida Unreal Estate Market is the longest running bubble in the history of bathing.

East and West Florida were along with what is now Canada and the Caribbean part of the 21 American British Colonies. The two colonies that would make up today's Florida were the only revolutionary refuseniks to later crawl into the Union. Before Pseudo Statehood Florida's Territorial Motto was "Give us land and kill the red man" but was changed during Florida's flirt with the Confederacy "Give us land and the black man."

Formal recognition would mean Florida would finally have to act like a real state and follow the foreign and drug policies of the 49 States and perhaps even listen to the dictates of the Federal Government at a time when few of its neighboring states are.

Don Arrup

Satire1