Haircut

Trump on the blower

I don’t want the Secretary of the Interior. My bowels are moving fine. Regular as rain. I want the Secretary of the Exterior...

What do you mean there’s no Secretary of the Exterior?

 How can you have a Secretary of the Interior if you don’t have one for the Exterior?

The Secretary of State? Does the ex-Exxon Don cut hair?

Does Rex T cut hair?

I need a haircut and the CIA Chief just explained to me that the White House barber is not Italian.

Yes, he has got to be Italian.

His first name’s Luigi and even he couldn’t pronounce his last name. What was I to think?

It had lots of vowels.

Slapbackastan? Callacabull? I don’t know. Not Italy.

No, no Greeks.

I would consider a woman for the position.

The First Lady makes that call.

If I run again I’m keeping Pence but Ivanka and Medusa are history.

You heard correctly. Michelle might come back. Misses the stationary.

I could marry Hillary and have her cover State and First Bird.

What Bill? Since he gave up the Big Macs and nookie he looks like something scarecrows insult each other with.

No, I didn’t know that.

You’re right. You never see a bunch of scarecrows talking together except in the Senate.

No, no, I know. Farm scarecrows might not talk like you and I but they do communicate.

Morse code with their arms. Like sailors with their flags.

Nobody talks to each other in the Senate anymore anyway.

Enough about the team that’s going to be running this country. Who’s cutting my hair?

No, no Greeks. Half of them live on islands.

Does the stars when they’re in New York?

I would prefer a Hollywood stylist.

No Greeks.

If there’s a pop or an is in their name that’s Greek to me.

Who does Wolverine’s hair?

I want him.

Not for First Lady.

I thought he just combed and brushed. I didn’t know he cuts.

What appointment? He lives here on call.

Needs two neck brooms. Three! One for me and the other for everybody else.

And another for me.

The chef is Greek!

The White House chef?

We need a McDonald’s in the White House. The tourists and your president demand a McDonald’s.

Who cuts Bubba’s hair? He’s going to need a job.

Bill’s going to be Second Bitch when I marry Hill for my second term.

It’s not bigamy. It’s politics.

The guy who used to do Elvis’ hair- did he have any kids?

Don Arrup

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