While President Donald Trump attended the Fat Cat International to seal deals and eat meals, Special Counsel Robert Mueller took his Star Chamber to the White House lawn and set up a picnic to nick pick what the crooks he's after this time are washing on.
Satire1 went to the corner of Main and Bank Streets in Horn Hill, Alabama the day after the State of the Union speech to collect quips and observations from the pundits of the streets.
Crimson Tide Fan
“While he was director, Mueller wasted all his time on Mexican Drug lords, Chinese industrial spies and Muslim terrorists. As if we didn’t have the best criminals and murderers money could buy right here running and ruining our country.”
Woman in red hat
“Isn’t Trump’s daughter Russian? Ivanka? What kind of name is that? I voted for Trump but I think Ivanka is Putin’s daughter.”
Crimson Tide Denier
“Look, Mr. Trump wanted a bigger office than he had in New York so he ran for the biggest office and he’s so rich he didn’t even have to spend his own money. If Putin swung him a couple of states that’s just one hand jerking the other guy off.”
Popeye the Sailor Man
“Most bizznizz deals tycoons makes is widt the devil so what’s the fuztd?”
Beauregard Calhoun
“Expecting a man of big business to remember every lie he told to close a deal is like putting a fact checker on every guy proposing marriage to a gal. Sir, you would be ending the species.”
Scarlet O’Hara
“Rhett had all kinds of shady business dealings- with our former colonial tyrants, hostile Indians and even the Yankees and he didn’t give a damn either.”
Colonel Sanders
“The Russians came to me to start selling my buckets in Moscow but they wanted a cut so big I wouldn’t have been left with anything but the feathers.”
Tennessee Tuxedo
“It’s not easy for a penguin in these parts and when I asked the President for a post in Moscow he said the State Department was going franchise.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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