No Thanks Giving 18

Thanksgiving in Paradise, CA

Followed by Charred Friday

Campfire Girls look burned out

China, jealous of the publicity, declares it will construct its own Hell

Facebook founder Zuckerboard admits under oath that FB is a virtual Hell

And Amazon is its boiler room

In devastated areas around the globe including California and D.C. only bitcoins are honored. In every language they call it fire money. Men from Mars would take it. American greenbacks, gold and diamonds go in the recycle can.

“Everybody knows bitcoins are worthless. That’s why they’re so valuable.”

You can’t feel the crack of your ass because you don’t feel the crack of your ass daily. It has a little extra pigment and you treat it like an immigrant. It’s the liaison with our legs- which we treat like slaves. How often do you do what your legs want to do? And I’m not talking about sitting down. Legs like standing or stretching out. Your legs like to do a lot of things. They like to dance. They like to be rubbed. Squeezed if its a religious holiday. Spanked if it’s a national.

Unclench your rectum. Un-fist your sphincter. Go out and practice our American religion. Spend.

You need more shit! Shit is what makes us feel alive. Buy shit. Talk shit. Walk shit. You’re legs will thank you for it. 

The line at the register is waiting for you. The future is cha-ching. Fires raced over California and now we are the wildfire. The wildfire of consumerism. 

I need a doughnut.

Happy Fat Bird Weekend

Don Arrup

Satire1