The Mother Of All Blonds

Xi Jing Ping Pong Ball

A date with Donald Hairdo

In Margo ala Go Go

Vlad seeing Red

Didn’t he make Donnie Prom Queen?

Kim stewing in his Kim Chee

Wasn’t wearing his low back tunic

And Asian Elvis Wannabe

If he is never asked to Florida

Where is he to go?

I’ll send him boats

Pretty planes, brass faced admirals

With scrambled eggs on their brows

Spies in sky and trench coat

D(D)T promised

But Kim Chee is feeling dumped

Though he and Donald were never really

Both put the starch in upstart

Thumbed their nose at sky and everything below

And have new clear ambitions

Bromance Brit is getting divorced

Glory past and Lizzie’s tired

Since the Iron Handbag died

Brit’s been losing weight

And looking more like Candy to the north

Dropped a big hello on camel town

Made sure all our friends tucked away

Heard our greeting

As we drone on and on

About making the world safe for plutocracy

Don Arrup

Satire1

Korea Doll

President of the People’s Republic of China Xi Jingping called North Korean Commie King Kim Jong-un(hinged)

Xi

Hey, great job scaring Trump during my visit over there.

Kim

No problem. 

Xi

Hey, Kimmie Baby, don’t think we don’t appreciate you jacking off that mock long range missile right after your parade. I know that was really embarrassing for you but it was really effective. The Don tried to cover shitting his pants by acting like he sat on some chocolate cake. 

Kim

Was it the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen?

Xi

His chef stacked two Entenmann’s and tried to smooth the icing out. It tasted like shit even more than it looked like shit. I thought the first trophy made it.

Kim

I never thought he would swallow the whole ruse so quick.

Xi

Are you kidding? We got Obama to spook him for us.

Kim

How did you get Bam Bam to do that?

Xi

We sat on the videos of him banging his bong in his Senate office.

Kim

How long had you had those?

Xi

Since his first week in the Senate. Before he was there we were there.

Kim

Too bad he could only serve two terms.

Xi

Yeah, Putin has the Blond so we really needed you to get him off the trade swindle.

Kim

Hey, Xi Xi.

Xi

Yeah, Un Bun?

Kim

I’m in one of those moods again.

Xi

What? Like you want to feed your people or something?

Kim

It’s spring. The birds and insects are eating. It makes the people hungry.

Xi

Un Bun, didn’t your daddy tell you- I know your grand pappy did- if you want to mess with the Americans you have to be like the Americans. Have you ever seen an American president who gave the least little shit for his people?

Kim

I know, but they have so much over there.

Xi

Which makes it that much more difficult. They finally figured out letting half their poor starve and overstuff the rest with junk to keep the doctors rich. You’re not quite there yet. A few more nuke extortions but-

Kim

And we don’t have any doctors.

Xi

Kim, we talked about this. If you start training doctors then the people will want hospitals and the doctors will want to prescribe drugs. You don’t want to go there. Even the Americans are sorry they ever thought about it.

Kim

Is Putin going to give Donny a second term?

Xi

When you’ve got a puppet in your pocket you don’t look for new strings.

Don Arrup

Satire1