Straw Poll

Candidates look like assholes in August. It doesn’t matter which party. You can’t stand a politician next to a 500 pound hog and not think of pork. They promise to bring home the bacon and not charge you for it. They’ll cut spending elsewhere or tax everyone who isn’t a farmer.

You get pictures of governors and congress folk shoving oversized local fare in their face in the papers this time of year anyway. Campaigns never end and state fairs are a cheap vacation.

People don’t want to listen to politicians in August. Any August. And especially not this August after the most hysterical and unproductive summer since the blow job carnival.

I almost feel sorry for them. In the bright sunshine on a little stage in front of checkered shirts and aprons candidates look just like the snake oil salesmen they are.

It’s not their fault. We buy snake oil. We don’t like its taste. We don’t like its effect but it is all we will buy. We make these monsters and elect them. Cotton candy and corn dogs.

Don Arrup
Satire1

Greed Versus Need

One of the seven deadly wins
When you have what you need
Is wanting more greed

Or is it ambition

A fuzzy point
On the scale of desire

Wanting two shoes
Is not greedy

Wanting two pairs of shoes
Not unreasonable

Shoes for every utility
Probably wise

So how many shoes
Two
Many

The girls next door to me
Had Barbie dolls
One each

Never owned two bikes
At the same time

Not a Mormon
Or a Muslim
Don’t even have a lover

Money is funny
Abstract
Yet powerful

Acquisition
Stuff
Access

If you’re greedy
Respect won’t cut it
Got to be envied

Be so in awe of me
You want to kill yourself
Then I’ll be happy

Greed is a bad drug
You’ll never get enough
Have it all and more
And still be poor

Don Arrup
Satire1