As temperatures on Egypt's coast plunge to below 50 degrees fahrenheit, the military council ruling the joke democracy has secured the next Winter Olympics in 2018 becoming the first Muslim country to host either Olympic Games. The Olympic Committee originally rejected Egypt's bid for the Winter Games and requested that the country petition for the Summer Games.
"No beach volleyball here."
But as Egypt proved to be colder than Sochi this February the committee reconsidered.
Down Pyramid Skiing
"Our current emergency government seeks legitimacy and needs to suck the public pyramid while we can. We could have real elections any decade now. We already have the Arab Spring, the Bloody Summer and the Tyrant's Fall. We need something for winter. These games should bring back the tourists and everybody wears clothes."
As Russians contemplate their entire economic output for six years invested in what will be a ski resort for their robber barons come Monday, most of the sane nations withdrew their applications for the next Winter Games.
"Greece bankrupted itself on their Summer Games and now Russia will be paying for Sochi for the next three generations. It's not that we aren't proud of our country and like to show it off but if we want to line the pockets of our giant contractors we just declare another unnecessary war. And isn't that what the Olympics is really all about? Our country can beat your country and our thieves are richer than yours."