V Day +1

I love you iPhone

With you I can wean

Myself off that bitch Netflix

All up in my eye ears

Stim you lie

Thru your teeth

In your bed

Sweat crack

Moon 

Now even chocolate is murdering us

Heavy metals

Poisons 

Coco’s not a go go

It doesn’t spread lips nor legs

It doesn’t put lead in our pencil

It puts lead in our bloodstream

(If Superman can’t see straight thru you

You’re fucked)

Every app is a slap

You’re a load of crap

Helpless, needy

Horny, greedy

We’ve got a robot

Who can fix you up

With another moron

With complementary delusions

Hatreds and confusions

Just twenty bucks a month

And you will be lonely no more

You’ll be lonely and trying

Happy Saint Valentine’s Day (belated)

Don Arrup

Satire1

You Made Your Bed

Fab fibber Congressman George Santos has “excused” himself from his two committee assignments with the help of House Speaker Nobody. Nobody said Santos stepping down from the Science, Space and Mythology panel and the Small Pecker Committee was “appropriate” until he worked things out.

Satire1 returns to our favorite corner in Charm City to record the voice of the people on the issue.

Father DeSade

“How could a politician lie? None of them has a clue. They don’t see problems. They see issues. Problems, sometimes, can be solved. Politicians can’t live without issues. You fix the problem you kill their issue. To politicians it’s like you’re killing them.”

Bobo

“Politicians are not trying to convince you of anything. They don’t have any solutions to sell. They’re just trying to get you to convince them that they’re special. Like they’re all running for prom queen.”  

Mack Shine, used car dealer

“Politicians don’t lie. If they could lie they’d be billionaires instead of being owned by billionaires.”

Mabel Mouth

“Never embellish”

Jack Natural

“How come we didn’t get any balloon? It balloons over Montana crosses the country and drops down to South Carolina. They don’t even have a baseball team. Either does Montana. I say, about time Baltimore got some balloon.”

Don Arrup

Satire1