Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dear Uncle Samta 10

In a city sounds soul
Neighboring brother’s an asshole
A family fight
Could unleash all of Man’s might
And bury us all in their hole

The Empire of Ireland
Bends to its burden
Athens, Rome and Madrid
Feared powers of old
Have given up
And now shake a cup
But what they really need is a bowl

The World Cup
Is a beggar’s cup
And the fastest talking
Least likely to pay you back
Jack
Is the United States of America

China, China, China
Skinny cat with too much fat
Backer of our greenbacks
Eclipsed the Rising Sun
In the wealth dance
With one leg firmly down our pants

Homeless for the Holidays
Busted banks hold empty homes
No rest for old bones
I’m family
Not a stranger
Not up for a manger
I hope the Wise Men leave me alone


Don Arrup
Satire1

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Toys

A bunch of cardboard and plastic shit
Priced to copyright
Luscious nymphets
Or rodents who look like luscious nymphets
Impossibly strong military personnel
Or robots that look like them
Small-featured races
Ethnic in pigment only
Lights
Wheels
Buttons
Noise

Why do we buy this crap?

We buy our children shit so that they might take a break
From messing with our shit

This is the true beauty of Christmas
The kids are stuck in the house all holiday
And most of the winter
So we buy them distraction
That might afford us some fantasy
Of still having our own lives

There are adult toys too
Of course
Cars we like to wear more than drive
Shiny little rocks that cost more than a year of college
We’re grown up
Right?

Don Arrup
Satire1

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Post Finals Exam

For all those brave scholars who have actually tried to learn something and now have to prove that they learned enough Satire1 asked a group of educators and councilors to devise an exam to see what is left of students’ brains after examinations.

1) What is your name?
First asked in Cheech and Chong’s Let’s Make A Drug Deal it is still the most basic test of total brain burnout. No looking at your ID or cell phone. Pet names or nick not acceptable.

2) What is your gender?
If you know your name you should have a clue but if you can’t recall how you spell it hope that it isn’t Teri/Terry or another vague handle. No looking or feeling down your pants. Good luck.

3) What did you study?
If you take the Post Finals Exam within 36 hours of your last academic examination you will probably gets this one correct. After that most students draw a complete blank for the rest of the week.

4) What did you learn?
Please.

Don Arrup
Satire1