Candidates look like assholes in August. It doesn’t matter which party. You can’t stand a politician next to a 500 pound hog and not think of pork. They promise to bring home the bacon and not charge you for it. They’ll cut spending elsewhere or tax everyone who isn’t a farmer.
You get pictures of governors and congress folk shoving oversized local fare in their face in the papers this time of year anyway. Campaigns never end and state fairs are a cheap vacation.
People don’t want to listen to politicians in August. Any August. And especially not this August after the most hysterical and unproductive summer since the blow job carnival.
I almost feel sorry for them. In the bright sunshine on a little stage in front of checkered shirts and aprons candidates look just like the snake oil salesmen they are.
It’s not their fault. We buy snake oil. We don’t like its taste. We don’t like its effect but it is all we will buy. We make these monsters and elect them. Cotton candy and corn dogs.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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