New York University has admitted to employing the undead to construct its 600 million dollar campus in Mudpie. Complaints appeared in the New York Times as early as last year that NYU's labor standards were not being applied to all the living workers let alone the dead. The Mudpie real estate companies hired for the construction began using zombies almost immediately and mixing them in with workers from South Asia and Mars.
Living human workers protested outside of the American Embassy in Mudpie that they were being housed with zombies.
"Why do I have to share a bunk bed with a guy who has no head?" read one sign.
"You can't believe how disgusting it is to watch them eat," complained one woman from Vietnam. "If there aren't enough corpses served they start to eat each other."
"They shouldn't let zombies be welders. They never turn off the torch and just don't ask."
"I was told in Laos that I would be working for the Americans in Mudpie but even my foreman is a zombie. He can see if you're not working but he has no ears to hear complaints."
"They like zombies because they don't take coffee or bathroom breaks."
Both the State Department and the International AFL-CIO are reporting violations of International Treatises on worker rights and the employment of supernatural and extraterrestrial workers.
"Providing health care to the undead can be tricky," said Surgeon General Murthy. "Doctors really aren't much use after people die. Morticians and dry wall installers have been having much better results with keeping the undead on the job."
President Obama weighed in on the issue:
"Our Constitution is silent on the issue of the rights of ghosts, phantasms and zombies. I think before we start condemning an institution of higher untaxed real estate we should conduct a thorough and politically corrupt investigation and then throw it in the laps of the Supreme Court. Then I'll feel free to criticize their findings while the media turns the whole issue into a bad TV movie."
Don Arrup
Satire1
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