While the government of El Salvador pleads with its women to avoid pregnancy due to the mosquito borne virus Zika which has been shown to cause severe birth defects, new evidence has been emerging that the Big Bad Z might on rare occasions be transmitted through sex.
Satire1, ever vigilant in the face of hopeless disaster, has interviewed a wide variety of physicians (never a good sign when doctors are referred to as physicians), public health officials, professors and beer bellies with a lot of old tires in their backyards in order to better inform our readership. All the interviewees have requested to remain anonymous since no one actually knows or understands shit about what is going down.
“This most recent development in the research concerning sexual transmission of the fever through intercourse is most disturbing. As if there weren’t already enough reasons to say no.”
“Personally, as an expert and a human being, I prefer getting laid to being bitten by a mosquito.”
“I’d probably notice the mosquito biting me more than anything my husband’s done for the last ten years.”
“Did they have to say ‘on rare occasions?’ I only get laid on rare occasions.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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