Thursday, September 28, 2017

Hurry-Cane Health Care Bill


Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) declared the third attempt to repeal and replace Obamacare dead after a five day attempt to resuscitate a warmed over clone of the last bill. Senators Bill Cassidy (R-LA) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) spent an entire lunch break ten days ago carefully crafting an alternative health insurance proposal claiming that “not a millionaire will lose their Medicare” on. 

Libertarian Republican Rand Paul of Kentucky called the bill another “fake repeal” while John McCain (R-AZ) threatened to check back into the Hanoi Hilton for his brain cancer treatment if this bill passed.

Just after Senator David “Chick” Perdue (R-GA) complained that the Republican caucus has had nine months “enough time to bake a baby” to repeal Obamacare Senator Susan Collins (R-ME) pointed out the bill was crafted in less time then it took to conceive a child. 

“Bill Cassidy and the Slam Graham Kid should have just played another two holes of golf rather than waste time and paper on this bill,” Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) said. “You can’t write major legislation that affects the health of the entire nation by what comes to a premature ejaculation of a two handed circle jerk.“

Don Arrup
Satire1 

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