Critics of the Trump Administration have now accused the President of rolling back environmental regulation of methane gas emissions which are believed to be second only to carbon dioxide in destroying the atmosphere. President Trump took to his tweeter.
“I have only gently eased the draconian oppression of our saintly, profit adverse energy industry who for decades has been blamed for the growing percentage of methane in our atmosphere when it has been clearly demonstrated by the usually lying scientists that most of the perpetrators of this methane madness are children, teenagers, pregnant women and the elderly. I think cows have been getting back at us too for taking their milk and eating them.”
The President has directed the FBI and Homeland Security to interview and, if necessary, interrogate teachers, school and nursing home dietitians and ranchers to try to discover what has caused such an uptick in deadly flatulence.
“These kids are going to have to learn- and learn quick- that they are going to have to live in this world and that the gas that they pass from their ass has mass and that mass adds up to an unbreathable future,” the President tweeted. “Astronomers have noted that our nearest neighbor planet, Mars, has been emitting methane into its atmosphere and some of that has bled into the greater solar system.”
“I have to admit that I was unaware before I became president of the threat that the planet Mars, known throughout the entire universe as the Mexico of the Milky Way, poses to our future. I asked the usually lying astronomers could the illegal immigration of gasses from Mars prove an even greater threat to the security of the United States than what we face from the influx of our flatulent food loving southern neighbors.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
No comments:
Post a Comment