What was all the fuss about Wednesday in Washington? Fake news? You mean there’s real news? Voter fraud? At the rate that American citizens vote that would be blessing much to be encouraged. Socialists stealing our country? Not from us. The richest rich own almost all of it leaving us just the debt and pollution.
To clear up the confusion, Satire1 ventured into the crowd at and in the nation’s Capitol to find out what was on the protestors or rioters or revolutionaries or hell raisers minds. Below, a small sampling of their griefs.
“Thank god there are still enough patriots around to save us from the Constitution.”
“Our cause is pure. We don’t have any evidence of voter fraud because evidence is never pure. Only bullshit can be pure.”
“Biden’s not even white! He’s Catholic!”
“Vice President Pence should be impeached. Where does he get off carrying out his duty? Did he forget he was a politician?”
“I got to Nancy Pelosi’s office but she wasn’t there. I wanted to sit on her lap. I missed Santa Claus last month because of the hoax virus.”
“They’re going to take away my Medicare and Social Security and replace it with Socialism!”
“Biden’s not a Christian. He’s an Irish!”
“They want to take down all our statues of Popeye the Sailor Man.”
“I grew up in the freest and richest country the world had ever seen. You used to be able to park your home anywhere.”
“Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln never ran for office. They wrestled their opponents for it.”
“What is with these Capitol Police? It’s broad daylight. We’re not wearing masks. So what if we smashed some windows and doors? Can’t they see we’re white people?”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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