Satire1 went to the back, back, back of Joslyn Court cul-de-sac in Boulder, Colorado to interview native buffaloes on what conclusions they drew, if any, from the prior Thursday night presidential debate on CNN.
Man in paper hat
“I heard Biden on the news the next day say ‘I don’t walk as easy as I used to. I don’t talk as smoothly as I used to.’ It looked like he was walking in place the whole time and nobody could call his responses talking.”
Woman in paper shoes
“I think Trump used too many facts. Facts only get in the way of the truth he’s trying to enlighten us with. He’s a New York real estate tycoon. Bullshitters should keep it bullshit.”
Teen wearing jeans
“Hold it. Biden, on the right side of the screen, he’s the old guy? I thought the guy on the left side of the screen was the old guy- you know, arguing with the dead guy.”
Woman wearing lipstick
“I was totally confused. Is it possible that Trump kept his mouth shut most of the time and Biden just had that I’m getting an enema right now puzzle for a permanent puss?”
Trans with a tan
“I’d happily vote for both of them if they would just stay on the golf course all the time and away from the levers of power.”
Obese carrying a valise
“You really want me to get out of bed and go to the polls to vote for one of those two? I think I’ll just go to the john and choose between a one or a two there.”
Nerd with a bird
“The camera didn’t pick up any of the real action: Jeff Bezos seated on the floor between them with his hands firmly in their colons.”
Off Duty Underwear Inspector
“I don’t know who forgot to change Biden’s diaper and who was responsible for not getting one over Trump’s mouth?”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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