Obama Offers Palin Seat On Death Panel

In a bi-partisan gesture President Obama publicly offered former Alaskan Governor and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Rah Rah Palin a seat on the proposed death panel- the headstone of his Health Care Reform plan.

“If Governor Palin is afraid we’ll throw her baby in the gas chamber to reduce health care costs I as a parent can understand that. There have been many nights when the First Lady and I stayed up till dawn trying to figure out just what exactly we would do if the government came and took our daughters. We know the insurance company will murder them if either of them develops an expensive condition. But that’s all of us.”

“If Governor Palin feels that she will have no say in the fate of her baby then I am extending a seat on the Death Panel where her vote will have equal weight with the other fifteen panel members of her region.”

“Though not all the details of these panels has been ironed out between the 846 different Health Care Reform bills under consideration it is my understanding that most of them seek to model the historically successful Star Chamber of the Grand Inquisition and the Final Solution Committee of the Third Reich’s SS.”

“And they will be uniquely American Death Panels reflecting our community values of fairness and compassion. There will be no consideration given to the victim’s race, religion or gender. Only the viability of treatment and whether the victim is someone most of us would like to sleep with will be considered. The poor and disadvantaged will get an immediate pass to gas chambers through Medicaid with the federal government footing the cremation as well. I think that’s only fair.”

Don Arrup
Satire1