Headlines During The UN Assembly

Health Care Debate Caused National Bullet Shortage
Unload your Constitutional Rights into your neighbor’s car. Rumors of Death Panels roaming the Midwest.

SUVS Protected By The Second Amendment
They kill more people than guns.

Sex Responsible For Overpopulation
Childless couples and singles celebrated the world over “I was careful and lucky and today I’m free” Day with masturbation and ice cream.

Marie Antoinette Gave Head
Is that what that huge wig was all about?

God No Longer Wants To Be Called Lord
Wants to be called “G” now.

Israelis To Be Called Palestinians Since They Live In Palestine

Diabetes Is The New AIDS
Obese is the new sexy.

James Cagney Put Something In His Hair

Record High Unemployment Among Six-Year-Olds
Experts blame aging Rock stars trying to stay relevant.

Sweatshops To Install Fans

Popeye Put Something In His Pipe

Asthma Linked To Breathing

Second Hand Cell Phone The New Smoke

Women Look Good

Obama Put Something In His Hair And Now He Doesn’t

Emmys Are A Commercial
Television makes itself an advertisement for television.

Monica Lewinsky Put Something In Her Mouth

Beer Tastes Good

Don Arrup
Satire1