Smoking Banned In Public Imagination

Nico Nazis of the NYC Dept. of Health have proposed banning smoking in public parks, beaches and imagination. A spokesperson for the agency suggested that the Sun was allergic to cigarette smoke and has brought the record rainfall of the summer in order to combat the second hand smoke of those relaxing in the parks and beaches. The spokesperson said that along with seeking the ban in open-air public spaces that they would seek a ban on smoking in the public imagination. This would include banning any movie or book that portrays smoking or characters who smoke. Casablanca, The Magnificent Seven and Star Wars would be among the casualties.

Nora Coffy, chairwoman of the Committee to Castrate All Smokers, praised the proposals. “My thirty-sixth floor apartment overlooks Riverside Park and I can’t open the windows to smell the Henry Hudson Parkway in spring because there is always some smoker violating a public bench with their murderous addiction. Sometimes it’s a cigar smoker!”

Don Arrup
Satire1