ObamaCare Repeal Attempt 200

With just hours left for the 113th Congress, leaders of the Republican controlled House of Representatives are scrambling for the last 86 votes needed to repeal the Affordable Health Care Act popularly known as ObamaCare. While the sequestration has expanded into a totally unfunded Federal government with the borders unguarded, airports shut down and the unpaid military foraging for food while trading high tech weapons for nookie and tobacco, House Speaker Boehner has pledged that the doomed on arrival bill will pass the House this time. 

"Our critics underestimate the absolute importance of this symbolic vote. We were sent here by our constituencies, some of whom may even be elements of the American people. to carry out the will of the lobbyists and the extreme fringes of our party."

"If President Obama and the Democrats thought that simply selling out to the pharmaceutical and insurance industries was enough to protect this tort lawyer enriching, nurse hugging, totalitarian coup of our freedom to chose whatever doctor and care the actuarial saints in Connecticut and New York bless us with they were mistaken."

"The American people in poll after poll have let their government know that they do not want bureaucrats in Washington forcing abortions and evolutionary based scientific procedures on them when there are better trained profit oriented accountants and financiers available in the private sector."

"The Health Care Industry is one of the few bright spots in the recession ridden Obama economy. Enjoying record growth and employment while providing second world care for only twice as much as any other country pays."

"Forcing Americans to buy health insurance assumes all Americans have enough health to care for. Now I ask you, have you actually taken a look at this country? Half of our teenagers could play on the offensive line of an NFL team while the other half look newly released from concentration camps. There is no saving these people and any investment in their care is a bad investment. Let the people decide for themselves where their dollars will go. Do I want that insulin shot or a third Big Mac?" 

Don Arrup

Satire1  

Fair Shame Game

A bipartisan effort is underway in Congress to address the nation's Swiss cheese approach to terrorism with legislators calling for truly comprehensive regulations to protect the American people. A partial list of proposals along with a sampling of their reasonings now in House and Senate committees includes:

Cuisine Terror

Background checks on buyers of pressure cookers and a ban on cookware shows. 

"Television and the internet are rife with foreigners explaining how to make explosive devises out of common kitchen equipment disguising their instruction as warnings and precautions."

Domestic Shoe Production

 In the 1960's, ninety-eight per cent of the nation's shoes were manufactured in the U.S. Now, ninety per cent are imported from overseas. The 2009 Shoe Bomber brought to light these ticking bombs literally under our feet. 

"The American people have come to rely on being shod for their personal protection and comfort. The popularity of footwear is too universal in this country for the FBI and Homeland Security to investigate. Until we control our ports and borders we must have American shoes!"

Van Damn Parking

With SUVs and vans making up close to half of the nation's household vehicles and a gallon of gasoline having the explosive power of 14 sticks of dynamite, concerns over large capacity tanks is provoking regulation to segregate their parking to forty feet away from any other vehicle, walkway or building.

"Saying that SUVs are only five times more lethal than the average automobile is downright propaganda. Their full gas tank could take out half a city block."

School Is For Fools

The amassing of a community's children in isolated buildings during the day is simply an invitation to disaster. Since "students" have long ceased learning anything of value or employment preparation we can only conclude that laws mandating their warehousing for six hours a day are to accommodate pedophiles and terrorists.

"Why are we subjecting our kids to overpaid union Communists who only propagandize them? Kids only believe what they see on TV anyway so why not keep them home in front of the tube and hand the Department of Education over to Madison Avenue where it belongs?"

Box Bombers

Experts agree that "going postal" has all but disappeared in recent years since all the U.S. Postal Service has to do to murder the population is deliver the mail. Between Unabombs, ricin, anthrax, holiday fruitcakes and the hundred other yet to be identified to the public poisons that lace our mail your mailman has no reason to waste expensive ammunition on his route. Note how many postal workers wear surgical examination gloves.

"Who needs Al Qaeda when you have the Post Office? Hamas and Hezbollah have been all but put out of business by UPS and FedX."

Don Arrup

Satire1

Late Spring Blues 2

I love winter in December

Some years even into short Feb

But by March it is old

This year

Ancient

I see young people in shorts

But they're out of their minds all year

Or have I just gotten older

Colder

No

Young people are insane

I was

And my friends

Why not

You don't own anything 

So you can afford it

Neighbors bitching like cooped hens

The park is a waiting area

Brand new dresses wilting in closets

Shoes too loud on a grey day

Hats that would only blow off

I want a chorus of flowers

Singing their colors

In defiance of the deaf winds

I want female flesh

Sans goose bumps

Parading the streets

I want sex in the air

Hell, I'd take sex anywhere

But we're all still buried

In the cold ground

Under wool and fleece

By taxes and bills

With no sign of relief

Tomorrow says the white teeth

On the dinner time tube

But he's just the Sunday guy

Who can say anything 

And disappear for a week

Don Arrup

Satire1