In Memorium

Satire1 again suspends its wit this post in honor of those individuals and their families whose sacrifice makes this and other blogs like it possible.

Don Arrup
Satire1

New Faces of 2016

The usual hack pols on last Sunday’s yak shows:

“Everyone trusts Hilary Clinton but Hillary isn’t a woman. He’s not even really a Clinton either since gay marriage wasn’t legal anywhere in the seventies and that’s not his real hair but everything else is authentic.”

“No, that’s not Trump’s real hair. He’s a celebrity. He’s New York. Multicultural all ethnic pan German not old money but not too new either.”

“Billary will look out for women. He identifies with them. Since he doesn’t have a real gender he’s all genders and preferences. He’s Bernie Sanders with his hair combed if you think about it. I don’t know why young people don’t get that.”

“I don’t know how real Republicans can’t fully support Donald Trump. I mean, the man is undeniably rich.”

“If you are liberal, if you are progressive you will forget about Billary’s Wall Street ties, years on the board of directors of WalMart, transgressing women’s biological territory in giving birth and warmongering- if you’re a real liberal.”

“How can anyone say Trump is anti-woman? Trump is a woman. It’s Donna Trump. The hands gave all that away months ago. Besides, there are no genders anymore. Like John McCain told Rachel Maddow on her show, ‘We’re all lesbians now.’”

How can you say Trump isn’t conservative enough on social issues? He shot his cleaning lady with a Smith and Wesson when she was trying to give herself an abortion in his broom closet.”

“Clinton listens to Punk and Christian Rock.”

“Trump doesn’t listen to music or anything else that competes with the sound of his own voice.”

“I know I said Trump is a charlatan, a misogynist and a shoe salesman but now he’s proven that he is wealthy enough to be forgiven all that.”

Don Arrup

Satire1

We're Off To See

House elephants spun in the air

Landed thump in the land of Trump

Bottle blonde Elvis hair 

Broad shoulders 

Billionaire’s paunch

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

I am the great and powerful Winner

Whose saliva melted governors and senators

Made flying monkeys out of pundits and scribes

Of course we’ll build a wall on the border

The whole country will be my castle

I will give women the best deal

They can kiss my feet

While men must kiss my ass

This is progress

Equality

What makes America great

Again

I will expel all the demons

You blame for your decline

Call them names

Trump up charges against them

Who better than Trump

To do this?

Click your heels together 

And pull the lever

Punch the card

Mark the box

And embrace the Winner

As we sail over the rainbow

Taking the straw out of Scarecrow

Don Arrup

Satire1