As the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences begins recounts for over twelve of their coveted golden bald men awards named after a puppet who lives in a trashcan on Sesame Street, Satire1 has procured the list of secret Oscars distributed during commercials to the real actors in the real shows of 2016.
Best Comedy
2016 United States Presidential Elections
Best Actor in a Farce
Donald Trump
Best Actor in a Crime Drama
Hillary Clinton
Best Clown in a Liberal Comedy
Bernie Sanders
Best Clown in a Conservative Comedy
Ted Cruz
Most Hysterical over Election Results
New York Times
Best Documentary Based on Alternate Facts
Fox News coverage of new Administration’s first month
Best Original Story
Donald Trump “Midnight in American”
Best Original Song
Hillary Clinton “It’s My Party and I’ll Run If I Want To”
Best Makeup
Donald Trump’s Florida Orange skin and blond Flippity Do Da
Worst Costume
Hillary Clinton’s Snow Cone colored pants suits
Don Arrup
Satire1
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