Pope Francis called a colloquium to discuss removing pedophilia from the curriculum of Roman Catholic education. “Heroic priests for centuries have been overcoming their distaste for sodomy to provide individual tutoring to young boys confused over what sexual acts are forbidden by the church,” said Cardinal DeSade. “The question is whether penetration might be a tad too demonstrative for religious instructional purposes.”
An estimated three million Venezuelans have crossed the border into Columbia, many on foot, as a part of an ancient tradition called This placed is fucked. I’m outta here. They’ll be joining the thousands who left in previous months as part of I can’t get my meds- I need my meds trek.
Princeton Physicist William Happer has been appointed to a White House twelve member panel to determine whether climate change is a threat to national security. Professor Happer is known as a booster for carbon dioxide and denier of humanity’s effect on the climate. Despite protests from green groups Happer is determined to take his seat just as soon as Miami can dig their airport out from the fifteen feet of snow they got in the last seventy two hours.
TV’s hit show Empire star Jussie Smollett has been charged by Chicago police with perpetrating self hate crimes. Prosecutors claim to have evidence going back years of Smollett discriminating against himself because of his race and sexual orientation.
One thing all sides agree on with the Green New Deal being put forth by the electoral suicide wing of the Democratic Party: It will cost a lot of green.
President Trump is planning to meet with North Korean Commie King Kim Jong Un to discuss houseboats and hairdos. The president claims total diplomatic victory on the Korean Peninsula. “Since the last time Kim and I chewed the fat his country hasn’t nuked us or the South Koreans once.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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