Who Do You What?

 

In this age of celebrated hatred, Satire1 took to the corner of 95th Street and Broadway in Mad Manhattan this Valentine’s Day to ask pedestrians who they felt intense, all consuming indifference towards. 

Undercover Librarian

“Authors of ebooks. People can fit everything in their phone now so I’m going to start fitting my boot up their ass.”

Bengals Fan

“I was in love with all the possibility and then I got rammed. After that, there was nothing to do but watch the game.”

Punxsutawney Phil

“My sister Phyllis tried to come out of our burrow first on my big day and steal my job. She claimed she did it for She-Chuck Liberation. I had to sink my buck-chuck teeth into her butt to stop her.”

Uncle Sam

“Trump. He is so last election and he still can’t get over it. The only person more past tense than Trump is Biden who was already past tense before the last election.”

Guy with a Pie

“I love my iPhone but I hate Apple.”

Porkpie

“The guy on TV not wearing a mask trying to talk me into wearing a mask.”

Joe the Plumber

“Those Canadian trucker protesters aren’t fooling anybody. Just another bunch of clueless husbands who forgot to preorder roses weeks ago and now are afraid to go home.”

Popeye

“If we’re being honest then you have to admit that love smells more like farts than it does like roses.”

Still Wearing Mules

“We’re still having babies like they did in the caves. Congress should act and decide where babies come from and it’s got to be from some place else.”

Porkpie Again

“The lab coats are bullshit.”

Don Arrup

Satire1