Insiders of the Olympic Committee’s governing board have expressed concern that they are having trouble locating oppressive tyrannies to host the next Olympic games.
“There are fewer and fewer truly oppressive governments that can afford to host the Olympic Games due to either the lack of population through genocide or on going civil war,” the insider told Satire1. “Without worldwide demonstrations and heads being crushed right outside the games on television nightly we fear the next Olympics just won’t get any coverage.”
Insider went on to explain that the increasing frivolity of the games with its backyard and bikini sports requires the gravity of inhuman political oppression to justify its attention. “Half of the games just look like your vacation at Club Med with fewer boob jobs,” he continued. “Its just a bunch of guys showing off and women trying to get attention. People won’t know if they’re watching the Olympics or Spring Break Vacation. We need to put it in a brutal political context for it to be taken seriously. “
The gold standard of Olympic games was set in Berlin under Adolph Hitler who knew how to put on a show. The passing of the torch that brought so many delightful and entertaining protests worldwide began then. “The Greeks always did their games at Delphi so they didn’t have that pr tool. But what use is it if the games are in Sweden? Then it’s just a handful of bored people waiting for some shorts to pass by with a torch in her hands. “
Even critics and human rights advocates admit that you can’t beat China for the location of the current games. “They’ve slaughtered their own students, subjugate their neighbors on a massive scale and threaten everyone in their hemisphere in a country where you can’t even breath the air or drink the water,” said a spokesperson for Olympics for Humanity. “After North Korea I’m afraid that we’re going to be stuck with a poor African country like Sudan which I don’t think can afford the Olympics.”
Don Arrup
Sature1
