King Putin Declares New Cold War Has Begun
Pledges Russia will use all its might to keep God-ridden American communism from infecting the free world.
Blue China Begins Mass Arrests of Pro American Communist Sympathizers
Asks where did the crazy Americans get these ideas?
The Wall Street Worker’s Journal Celebrates May Day
Markets rise in anticipation of a new revolution.
Ford Bureau Of Investigation Refuses Cooperation With Chrysler Intelligence Agency
Still haggling over how to divide the 500 billion allocated to Automotive Intelligence.
No Bank Survives To Foreclose On Mortgages
The Fed forms Financial Gestapo to hold buyers in homes under house arrest as they still want to walk away from crummy sheetrock whack-ups.
Iran Pledges To End Occupation Of Alaska Early In Next Decade
Claims aggressive action was needed in anarchic 50th state to stabilize world oil markets and protect wolves.
Delaware Secedes From The United States
Claims country never recognized its unique accent and wants to print its own postage stamps. “We’re bigger than Monoco.”
Mafia Asks Washington To Nationalize Heroin and Cocaine Business
Warns laying off tens of thousands of drug dealers could lead to a spike in burglary and littering.
Paris Hilton Announces Her Candidacy For 2012
Hasn’t decided what office to run for and can’t remember if her boobs are really hers.
Chicago Cubs Win World Series
Sure sign of the Apocalypse.
Don Arrup
Satire1
