Someone was elected to the Office of the Presidency of the United States today as a record number of voters voted for him or his opponent. It will probably take years to decide the outcome. Dozens of challenges in every state, Puerto Rico and Guam along with national challenges already being petitioned to the Supreme Court are being scheduled as militias form in front of strip joints, opera houses and via the Internet.
The FBI attacked CIA Headquarters in Langley, Virginia while the Air Force sank the majority of the Navy’s home fleet in Norfolk, Sand Diego and Hawaii. Marines are holding against the Army and managed to destroy the Pentagon. The National Forestry Service is holding twenty-two agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms hostage while the Coast Guard is massacring the Border Patrol. Every free gun is hunting IRS investigators while some Post Office employees are being spared- but not many. Stock and commodity exchanges turned into roadhouses. Congress a kung fu movie. Cities riot, countrysides revolt, hermits having no one else to kill commit suicide.
Households across the country are experiencing a level of violence unseen before even during the holidays. “People just shouldn’t be within eyesight of each other. Its just asking for trouble,” said Hiram Gonatz, proprietor of a used adult books store. “Its just one of those situations where anyone with an opinion is the mortal enemy of anyone else with an opinion. Even if they agree.”
President Bush, having just emerged from murdering the late Vice President Dick Chaney in an ultimate fighting challenge, declared that it was everyone for them selves.
Ain’t democracy great?
Vote.
Don Arrup
Satire1
